Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Removing the mask, discovering me.

Tonight while surfing Facebook, a friend of mine posted an article that I found freeing.  Here is the link http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/being-christian-doesnt-always-look-you-think-it-should#eTjJBFTcxCxz6qX3.01.  Hopefully I added the link thing right & you can go read it for yourself.

I had attended what I thought was a great church & in some ways it was great.  I was taught the proper fear of the Lord, what worship is & isn't, I learned who God is & isn't.  I basically went from a baby to a mature Christian.  There were many good times & memories.  Then my little church closed, my then husband left me, my whole world crumbled or so I thought.  There are times when God has to strip away the false to reveal the real in our lives.....mine has been a few years in the making.

What I thought was a "good" church was in some ways a good church, but in retrospect & reflection I see where there was a spirit of manipulation at play in folks lives & the ministry.  When the church closed I felt like I had failed the ministry some how.  Rumors were flung around so others could be elevated in the eyes of the Pastors.  What I thought were my friends & mentors turned out to be false.  It was a confusing time in my life.

I admit, I have been floundering....hence why no posts in a LONG time.  I would feel the urge to write, but then thought I wasn't worthy of being His scribe anymore.....I didn't live up to the "Christian" image as I was taught I had to portray.  I still don't feel worthy to pen anything in His precious name, but I am feeling the urge of the Lord to be real & transparent in ways I have been trying to shield.  So hang onto your shorts....this could be a bumpy ride for both of us.

I was taught a "Christian" was perfect.  We don't have bad days, bad thoughts or feelings.  We are not to lose our cool. We are to be an example to the world.  After reading the article "Being Christian Doesn't Always Look Like You Think it Should" I saw my mask just crumble.  I am NO where perfect.  I don't always maintain my cool.....to be honest I am rather hormonal & quick tempered lately.  I am not always kind.....to be honest some days I say what is on my mind & find myself rather unfiltered.....which can be a good thing, but can also be rather detrimental.  Side note:  If my being honest & unfiltered has hurt anyone.....I humbly ask for your forgiveness.  In my attempts to be real....to be truly transparent & not "sugar" coat stuff I can be rather brash.

That leads me to another thought.  Why did we as a society become a blaming society??  I heard a co-worker today utter the words well my mother/father are responsible for the way I act.  I mean SERIOUSLY??  When I am wrong....which is about every moment of every day.....I am big enough to own up to my mistakes & not blame it on others.  If I said something wrong....it was me that said it, no excuses.  If I did something wrong....again it was me that did it, no excuses.

Let's face it folks....we are ALL human....quite subject to error.  There was only one perfect person...Jesus.  Heck He was/is & forever shall be God incarnate.  God Himself in human form to show me He CAN & does relate to the troubles & trials of my life.   It is by HIS mercy & grace I get MANY do overs....many opportunities to do it or say it His way...the right way.  I am so flawed & so imperfect, but God is SO loving & SO patient to give me the time & opportunity to be a daily work in progress.  One fine day Jesus will come again & when He comes then & ONLY then shall I finally be PERFECT.  In the mean time, grab your hard hat, come near me if you are brave enough.  I will be working daily to get this thing right more than I do now.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

God is calling, will you answer?

I spoke with my friend Linda; scribe of the Psalmist's Corner.  She & I are in agreement that God is calling His church to repent & get back to business....the Father's business.  I have had a feeling in my spirit that we (the body of Christ & not just me) have disconnected from our first love.  We have forsaken Him.  We have forgotten our first love.  Linda has been feeling the same thing.

Jesus should be our first love, our first priority.  I once walked so closely with Christ that I heard & felt the moving of the Spirit on a daily basis.  I have moved away from that  myself.  God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit hasn't moved, I did.  I need to get back to that spot of worship & communion.  I have been loving Jesus like earthly man has.  I have viewed & operated in a relationship like earthly man does.  He wants to do so much more in & through us then we have been willing to allow.  I want to live abandoned again.

I guess that is why I have moved back to the first principle.....loving God.  I started reading "Falling in Love with Jesus" by Dee Brestin & Kathy Troccoli.  I am taking one day at a time to learn once again who Jesus is, how much He loves me, rediscovering once again the joy of His salvation.

Once we, the church, rediscover & reconnect with Christ we can then get about doing the Father's business His way, not our way!  The church these days is just a meeting place for Christians to pat one another on the back.  A place to feel good about ourselves.  The Church is supposed to be a refuge & resting place for those that need the Hope of Christ & a safe place to abide in these troubling times.

The world is getting crazier as my Beloved Lord foretold to His disciple on the isle of Patmos.  He is coming of that I have no doubt.  I don't want to be left behind, but rather I want to partner with Him in these final days, hours, weeks, or months before He comes & well after He comes back.  Want to join me in this journey?

Still alive studying at the Psalmist's Corner

I haven't posted in so long it almost seems foreign to me.  So much has transpired since my last post.  I found myself walking in the midst of prophecy.  I got married according to God's promise & found myself in the midst of a new church body.  I am still not sure what my place & purpose is just yet, but know I am there for a reason & purpose.  It's just a matter of time finding out the what & why.

A dear friend of mine started writing.  Her column is called the Psalmist's Corner.  She hasn't made it to the blog world yet so I will gladly post what she has given so far.  Here is her letter from April 2014:

"Happy resurrection day from the God of the Second Chance.  It's never more evident than at this time of year that God is the God of the second chance.  It's here in the Scripture John 3:16 & 17 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the word, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Notice I did not say the God of Second Chances.  Our whole life after we accept Jesus as our Savior is a second chance until the day we die.  Years ago, God told me this:  Linda you are not your mistakes & your mistakes are not who you are.  This is so right.  After I accepted Jesus, I am not just God's creation, I am God's child.  When I do make a mistake I go to the Father in Jesus' name, I repent in Jesus' name & am forgiven in Jesus' name, & go on with my life of the second chance.

For 2014:  Every prayer we have ever spoken, wailed, travailed or wept is still in front of God in the throne room.  When we speak them they take on substance & are manifested in the throne room of God.  They are being charged & ignited' being formed into answers by the power of God. God is getting ready to charge the atmosphere all around us as the answers are being released & sent to us here on earth.  Feel the electricity in the are all around you.  The air is charged with the creative power of God.  Be excited as we are about to receive answers from God.  Answers, Answers, Answers, Power, Power, Power!  Feel it, connect with it!!! No more delay, no more waiting, now moving in time with God.  Instant backing & response from God. One with Jesus & flowing with the power of the Holy Spirit.  Lord let the atmosphere around us be charged with Your power & glory.  Amen."