Wednesday, July 25, 2012

In Awe of His Grace

Am doing a daily devotional I picked up at Dollar General for like $5.00.....bargain!  It's "I Lift Up My Soul" by Charles Stanley......good read, great devotions.  Today's was "In Awe of His Grace".  It got me to thinking today.  The scripture reading for today was Psalm 43:3-5....go grab your Bible and look it up!  The key verse was Proverbs 14:27 "The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death".  It got me to thinking about fountains and how water is essential to life.  Deep stuff, too deep to put here for now.

One thing that jumped out the most to me was in the body of Mr. Stanley's commentary for the devotional.  "Each time a scribe would come to a passage containing the name of God, he would lay down his stylus & go wash his hands.  The scribe did not feel worthy to print God's name without cleansing & humbling himself before the Lord.  There was an aspect of godly fear in this action that seems foreign to us today.  Do you fear God for who He is? Are you aware of His awesome power & presence in your life?"  A powerful thought followed up with 2 interesting questions that got my mind to working.

Do I really fear God for who He is?  To fear isn't to shake in horror, it means to honor & revere Him for who He I really fear Him?  To be honest I'd like to think so, but I have a tendency to sometimes over analyze things....especially when it is me that I am heart, my motives, etc.  One some levels I am in awe & reverent towards God, but sometimes like most I do slip into thinking He is just like me....dangerous ground when we do that.

Am I aware of His awesome power & presence in my life?  Yet another good question of which I have pondered and have sought to answer honestly.  Again I'd like to think so.  Most days I am very aware of His power & presence in this life I foolishly like to call my own, but some days I am so full of me I can't see or feel Him.....UGH!  When I wake up in the midst of those days I wish I could effectively kick my self in the rear!  Why do we as humans do that??  Escapes me other than we get to thinking we can conquer the world so much we forget we are but filthy rags & can't effectively accomplish squat without God's direction & guidance.  Silly human!

I had a dear friend tell me tonight that he is surprised with my knowledge of the Bible that I would not be seeking a larger "stage".  He isn't saying I am not wanted where I am, but seems to think that perhaps I could be of better use in Leadership or a bigger church.  I am quite happy where God has planted me.  I am here to get rooted again, to gain strength before He plants me elsewhere.  Would I like to be teaching full time again instead of sporadically like I do now?  Yeah, I thoroughly enjoy studying the lessons before giving them & there is always something new to learn.  Would I like to be in leadership again like I was?  Yeah, but I am wise enough to not go seeking a "title" or "position" without God initiating & arranging it for me.  I know if I "go for it" without it being God's plan, if I get out of His timing I am setting myself & anyone connected to me to fail.  Been through a church closing & don't care to go through it again anytime soon!  As much as I love my dear friend, I love God more & will continue to patiently wait for Him to position me where He chooses as best for my life & those around me.  There is much to do in the waiting & so many blessing when the waiting is over.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Time Flies When You are Having Fun

Time flies when you are having fun, guess I missed something there.  How things have changed since my last post.  Yes I am still alive, yes still struggling a bit with who I am in Christ and all He desires to do in me.  I haven't posted since January.....haven't felt compelled to write like I was.  Have fallen in the "routine" of work, home & church....a rut.  But as a wise person told me tis better to be in a rut rather than a grave as a rut has a way out in the ends whereas a grave is just a whole with only one way out & that is up.

Still single, still living with my two rather large & hairy roommates.  Not much has changed geographically and externally.  Internally things have been shifting and shaking....more shaking really.  God has me in a place where I am sorting through the junk in the closet of my heart.  I am coming more at peace with being single, sorting through some forgiveness issues and learning to de-clutter my heart.  I am still a hard hat zone...a work in progress albeit the progress might seem slow to some, it is right on target with my Beloved Lord.  Pray my beloved friends that God's will will prevail in this life I keep trying to claim as my own.  That I will get the desire to write again, as I know folks really do hit on this blog from time to time and some actually stick around to read it.  Again the disclaimer....this isn't an educational blog from the perspective of everything can be found in books and has been scientifically proven.  The purpose of this blog was and still is to journal my own personal journey with the Lord in the hopes that someone might be in the position I was in and it would give them a bit of hope.  Well must dash, must get ready for church.  I am teaching again, part time.  This morning's lesson is "Living Confident in Christ".  Seems He has me teaching on topics I need to learn the most.  Truthfully some days I am confident in Him and secure in His love, other days not so.....guess I needed a reminder and so do my fellow brothers & sisters in Christ.  HUGZ & be blessed.