Sunday, November 28, 2010

Are Things in Order

My birthday is vastly approaching as well as the Christmas Holiday. It has me reflecting over this past year of my life. Today I went to the First Assembly of God and Pastor Turner was preaching still from The Beginning...the book of Genesis Chapters 2 & 3...he didn't quite get as far with his sermon so it was more of Chapter 2 then 3.

He was talking about man's role in the garden. In verse 15 it says God took the man and put him in the garden to tend and keep it. Note that it was man that God put there, no mention of woman as she wasn't even created yet. God has a specific order for creation and for life. Man was put in the garden to tend (to set it in order) and to keep it (to maintain and to protect it). Man was charged with the responsibility of the garden; we find that in verse 16. We can correlate that to life today. Man was and still is charged with the responsibility to set into order, to maintain and to protect his garden....his home...his life. Now man isn't supposed to set things into order according to his own desires and demand, but according to God's will, desires and commands. Big difference there.

In verse 18 God decided that man should have a helper comparable to him. Man was incomplete without someone to complement him in fulfilling the task of filling, multiplying and taking dominion over the earth. So in verse 21-22 God did just that. He took a rib from Adam's side and created woman. She was created to come along side of Adam to help him. Not taken from Adam's head to where she ruled over Adam and not taken from Adam's foot where he ruled over her. A co-heir, a co-worker, a co-mpanion.

Verse 24 we see that they became one flesh. They were in unity of parts making a whole...working smoothly and perfectly together as one. There wasn't a battle of the sexes...there wasn't any competition.

I have been reflecting off and on of where things were out of order in my marriages and where I failed to be in "order" according to God's creation. Marriage #1 I see my ex wasn't in order according to God's word. He ruled over me and I became his servant rather then his helper the way I was created to be. It was out of balance and destined to fail. Marriage #2 I see my ex also wasn't in order according to God's word. He left all responsibility on my shoulders to do everything...and me being the self preservation/control freak I allowed it to go that way for a season too long. I had seen how things weren't in the proper order and I was trying to make course corrections but ex #2 wasn't willing to take dominion nor responsibility as he needed to.

God is showing me my place so to speak in a "godly" marriage. Right now everything is falling upon my shoulders for a season. How long it will last only God knows that answer. My task for the moment is to trust God to provide like a husband should. Yes, I am still doing the dishes, cleaning etc all by myself. But there is coming a day when God will bring me the man He has set aside for me alone. This man will rise up in Godly authority and allow me to be the helpmate I was created to be. I will be submissive and surrender all authority and responsibility to him and be the helpmate. God is using this time with me to not only get my head in order, but my spirit & soul as well. I pray I am worthy of this man He is bringing to me. That I will be a blessing and joy to this man. I wait...........

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Identity Theft

Well I am without a church again it seems. Ah well, to wander, to visit, to seek God and where He wants me again for how ever long. Sheep Shed has decided not to do Sunday services, so it is church hopping again....but this time it is with a different attitude of heart. Instead of a sorrowful wounded heart it is with a joyful and expecting heart I seek again. Pastors Clark have been called to higher things, they weren't necessarily called to have regular Sunday services. So it is with a joyful heart I pray them through this season & ministry God has them in. Love you Clarks!!!!

I visited a church not far from my home this past Sunday. Was wonderful to be in the house of God worshipping with hungry people. God's presence was so thick and warm and wonderful. I believe there was an open heaven above the place and God was poised and ready to do miracles if anyone had the faith to ask. Yeppers, I prayed blessings and such for that body of believers and am looking forward to hearing about the miracles God and I spoke about...nope like wishing on a star, I am not gonna tell!

Pastor spoke about our purpose on earth....what we were created to do back in the garden, but also here and now. It got me to thinking about what has had happened to me and where God is taking me. Seems my identity was stolen, or rather obscured by the wounds inflicted upon me by people, the enemy and me beating myself upside the head with that rattin frattin condemnation brick. You know the one we all pick up when we make a mistake and beat ourselves senseless with. But I also realized that some of the "wounds" I have sustained aren't really wounds but rather where surgery was performed by the Master Potter's hands. He has lovingly stripped (although it may not feel like it) away things and people that have been a hinderance to me becoming who I was created to be....but also hinderances to our relationship.

I am learning how to love me and Him more. I have discovered that I indeed haven't really loved or been loved like Christ loves me. I have had 2 marriages, but haven't really been loved like I so desire and deserve. So I have been making it a daily habit of thanking the Lord for one more day to try to get things right; to try to be His hands & feet; to be His ambassador; for His love and devotion of which I am SO not worthy of; and also for His hand of protection over the man He is grooming just for me. Yes there is hope in my heart to finally love and be loved again....hope springs eternal is what my granny used to say. Never fully understood it until now. Yes the holidays and my birthday are VASTLY approaching at a rate that makes one's head spin. Whether I am alone or with anyone for these celebrations is yet to be determined...but one thing is for certain...whether with anyone or alone God will be right there. Loving me, protecting me, providing for me and adoring me.

Father I am thankful for this stripping away the mistaken identity that I had. I am thankful for the surgery you have and are still yet performing on me. I am thankful for the bits of my soul that have been transformed and have surrendered. I am thankful that no matter how much I turn away or want to run I can never escape You...that You are not going to let me go no matter how "bad" I think I have been. I thank You that my identity is secure in You...the real Bert....not this fake, phoney, plastic one the world and those in it have fashioned for me. I love You Lord and am Your humble servant, friend & bride to be.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

How Like God!

~I just clicked "post" on my last posting. I took 2 minutes to check my private email and saw the latest TGIF (Today God Is First) Devotional. Yeah I subscribed and they send me nuggets of wisdom daily. Well if you read the previous post then you will understand why I just copied and pasted this one. How like God to give a nugget when you need one the us such hope and encouragement....enjoy and I pray it speaks to someone else's heart today like it did mine.~

Confrontation With God
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Tuesday, October 05 2010

"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." Isaiah 61:3b
"God, is this the way You treat someone who is faithful to You?" I yelled out loud on the top of the wooded hill where no one but God could hear me. "I have waited and waited and now this! I hate You, God! I have had enough!" Those were my words that day as I wrestled with news of an event that devastated me to the point where I broke down weeping.

As I sat there among the trees deciding what else I could say to God, I was speechless. I was angry. I was confused. I wondered if He even existed. If He did, I felt like He really didn't honor my faith and obedience. I sat for hours wrestling internally with my feelings.

Finally, without answers and sensing that God wasn't answering me, I turned to leave. I had been sitting on an old oak tree that was broken at the base. The tree pointed toward the base of another huge oak tree. Finally, a still quiet voice inside said, "Today, like this broken oak tree you are sitting on, you are a broken man. But this brokenness was needed in order for you to become this large oak tree you see."

Months and even years had passed with many struggles. But God was true to His word from that day. He began to replace the pain and disappointment with an inner joy that only His grace could provide.

Have you ever wrestled with the events of life, feeling that God has deserted you? Have you been honest with God? He is the kind of Father who is willing to have those difficult conversations. He won't always change things, but His purposes will be accomplished and peace will come if you trust. Trust Him this day with those things that are most difficult.

~Looks like I am not the only one who is brutally honest with God. How many times these past few months I asked that same question "God is this how you treat someone who is faithful to You?" God is already aware of the things in my heart and He seems to honor my honesty even though it may break His beautiful heart to hear my brutal honesty. To read that I am not alone in asking such brutal questions of Him makes my soul relax a bit...that it is ok to be that blunt and honest with God. Have a good talk with God today...tell Him all the stuff that is on your heart....the good, the bad, and what might seem ugly and not suitable to tell the King of kings. Nothing makes the heart lighter then being able to share even the darkest nastiest parts of our heart with a good friend who won't judge you but love you through it all. That is my God, my Lord, my Savior, my Friend...loving me inspite of the darkeness of my heart.~

Still Alive, Still Struggling

It has been quite some time since my last post. Some may or may not be wondering where I have been, what have I been doing, what is going on. I have been asking myself those same questions. Update - the divorce is final, I have been set free to wander the cosmos once again so to speak. Telling myself it is but a new chapter in this life I try to claim and call my own.

I have been reflecting this week on my life and where it has taken me this year. Many things have been shaken and changed. The church closing, friends leaving me at the mention of possible divorce, husband leaving me and divorce looming over me like a dark cloud, doubt, depression, anger, frustration, questions galore. Questions over my own responsibility in the failed marriage. Questions over why 2 failed marriages total. Questions for God like "Where were you in the midst of this?" "If this is what happens when you serve with all you have, why serve?" Don't freak out over the last question there, I am still serving Him, just not with fervency like before. I am a wounded warrior....wounded by some in the church, wounded by so called friends that bailed when it got rough in the boat, wounded by someone I had thought I would spend the rest of my days ministering with, wounded by the enemy and my own flesh as a means of not surrendering fully to God like my spirit man desires, & wounded by God Himself to bring His character into my being.

Many things, many changes, many questions still yet to occur and get answered. So I keep walking with God....don't know how to do anything else really. Walking and talking about the things, the changes, asking all the questions my heart and mind can muster. Walking and listening to His heart beat in rhythm with mine. Walking and listening for those pearls of wisdom that will makes sense of one crazy year. Walking and listening to His songs of healing that wash over my spirit tenderly cleaning my soul. No beloved reader I haven't given up, although I have been dealt some blows this year, my spirit still walks with the Lord. It is a difficult precarious over rough terrain of my broken heart & spirit....but a walk nonetheless.

What lies ahead of me? I am almost to afraid to ask Him that question for fear of what He might say...but yet another question. Will I ever learn to love like He does? I don't think I have loved like that or been really loved in return. Will I have another man in my life that will finally love me the way I desire to be loved and will I love the same way in return? Will I remain living in the home He brought me to? So many questions it makes my head I try to stop the whirlwind and keep walking.

Where the next chapter leads me I have no clue. What I do know that even though this has been a difficult time for me, even though I didn't feel His presence or hear His voice much, God was ever with me. Like I said my spirit knows no other way but to cling to Him even it is just a thread of His robe I cling to....I am clinging...I am alive....I am still struggling....I am still HIS.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Steadfast Love

I have been pondering the steadfast love of God. So the best place to begin is always the beginning. According to Websters steadfast means 1)fixed or unchanging, steady. 2)firmly loyal or constant; unswerving. Steady means 1)firm in position or place; fixed. 2)direct & unfaltering; sure. 3)free from change, variation, or fluctuation; uniform. 4)not easily excited or upset. 5)unwavering, as in purpose; steadfast. 6)reliable; dependable. 7)temperate; sober.

Kind of sounds just like God doesn't it? God is love. He is unchanging, steady, firmly loyal and constant; unswerving, direct, unfaltering, sure; free from change, variation, or fluctuation. He is reliable, dependable, temperate and sober. Kind of gives you insight into who He is and what He is about. To love like He does seems impossible, but if we let go and let Him have His way it will be as easy as breathing. Yeah I want love like that in my life not only from God but from a significant other. I also want to be able to love others with that type of love....unconditionally, unswerving, dependable, unfaltering....His love isn't based on performance like man's isn't conditional but a free gift to all who receive it.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Steadfast Love of God

I was in church about a week ago. Pastor Tim had preached out of Psalm 32:7-8 but I had read the remaining verses of the Psalm. One thing caught my eye...verse 10 "Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord." My heart skipped a beat when I saw "steadfast love". I have been married 2 times and I don't believe what I experienced in either marriage was "steadfast love". Since then I have been in and out of God's word....when I am in it seems where ever I am reading I am reading "steadfast love" in the scripture(s) for the day.

"What does love look like?" is a song sung by Misty Edwards out of the International House of Prayer. You can check it out here Between this song and the "steadfast love" that I can't escape from in the scripture has me pondering and seeking. I believe steadfast love was what compelled Christ to fulfill leave His home in heaven, to become flesh, to have all the weight of sin from that time to eternity placed upon Him, to be the propitiation...the sacrifice for my sin. So I am on a slight detour....what does love look like? what is steadfast love...THE steadfast of God look like and what are the benefits of obtaining such in one's life.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the Amplified reads "Love endures long & is patient & kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited(arrogant an inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it (it pays no attention to a suffered wrong). It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything & everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fade-less under all circumstances, & it endures everything (without weakening). Love never fails (never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end)." In light of this, I can honestly say I did not love like I should have. The world has put it's own justifiable twist to something so simple, so complete. Love to the world is conditional, but to God it just is an absolute truth that cannot be twisted or changed. Love like God just is....can't be explained, bought, sold or just is.

A dear friend, mentor, mom, confidant gave a good word today in church....she spoke about being Callified. How God calls us and it is our choice whether we answer that call...whether we rise up to meet the challenge of that call. One of the conditions of rising up to meet the challenge of the call was/is truth. To live, breathe and operate in truth....not the world's synthetic version of the truth where it changes like folks change their underwear...where it changes at a whim....but God's absolute truth. Not unlike 1 Corinthians 13:4-8...God's absolute truth about love. So here is the truth folks....I have been living a country song. I have been looking for love in all the wrong places. We all crave and desire to be loved, but this world's version of it will just leave us empty and longing. So I am on a need to pack my bags or take vacation time....a quest of seeking out God's steadfast love. What does it look like? Already have a glimpse or two...Jesus and God's absolute word. How can I make it a part of who I am?

My dear friend also mentioned that this season we are in is a preparation time. This Esther is rising up for a time such as this. A preparation time of love for the next chapter of this book of life I try to call my own. A preparation time of love that will be so like His pure love to be poured out like a drink offering over those around hold on dear ones that are in my inner circle for the shower of love so fresh & new. But also a preparation time of love for that one special person that God is simultaneously preparing for me. Hope springs eternal once again in my heart....thought I had lost it along this journey along with love and a few other things. I will post what I discover about steadfast love. But I challenge any and all readers today...start your own quest and then let me know what you discover.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

What are you afraid of?

Today I am pondering, pensive and thinking. I have been told I over analyze things....yes perhaps so. When things or situations come into my life I look at them like one would look at a Rubik's cube. I turn it this way and that, I study it before I make the next move as I don't want the next move to be a wasted move that will cost me ground. This morning the Lord is speaking to my heart, "What are you afraid of?" It is all I can do to keep from crying.

What am I afraid of? Well other then the obvious to my friends...spiders & snakes...can't stand them, the list seems endless within me. I am afraid of truly being alone even though I know HE is with me, I am afraid of being alone in the natural. I don't like living alone, I don't like eating alone and I certainly don't want to die alone.

I am afraid of failure. My life seems a "Magoo" life. Mr. Magoo was a cartoon character I used to watch as a kid. He was an old bald man with very poor vision and he had to wear thick glasses. He never really saw where he was going, he bumbled along through life. But somehow when he stepped off into the unknown there was always a steel beam to catch him....kind of makes me think of how God is in my life....He is that steel beam I seem to step out on when I do muster up the courage to step out. But I am afraid of failure....why? Well I have no clues....still trying to Rubik cube puzzle that one out. I guess it comes from this drive within me to do things right the first time....or perhaps my drive to please others and not let anyone down as I have been let down so much myself. I don't know. Perhaps it is a trust issue. I don't trust myself to do things and trust it will work out....perhaps just the basic trusting of God & His work within me to sustain me through whatever obstacle.

I fear if I allow myself to love others, I fear I will either hurt them or get hurt myself. Hurting others is a big one for me. I know what it feels like to have one's heart ripped out by the carelessness of a friend or loved I guess this is what keeps me from loving like I should.

The fear I really don't know how to truly love or that I will truly be loved. I wonder sometimes in the course of my 2 marriages...did I really love them? I mean truly love them or did I just love the idea of being married? Will I ever be truly loved not for anything I can do or give someone but truly be loved? I know in my head God loves me, but have I truly allowed that to filter to my heart to where I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God TRULY loves me? Have I allowed God's love to permeate my very being?

Then in today's email I get this nugget of it is not written by me and I don't take any credit for it.....

Stoplight Faith
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, August 18 2010

"And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith" (Matt 13:58).

You can learn a lot about people in traffic. For instance, I observe a lot when I see 20 cars in one line and only 3 cars in another. The reason for the longer line is these people want to make sure they get to make their turn after the light. I, on the other hand, want to get through the light first, then I will worry about making the next turn. This is a difference in risk taking tolerance, or perhaps faith; or even some might argue with me that I'm operating out of presumption versus real faith.

No matter which person you might be in this situation, it is sure that faith is often spelled R.I.S.K. When the priests carried the ark into the Jordan River at flood stage there was a risk they could lose the ark to the Jordan River. However, that is not what happened. "And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the LORD, the Lord of all the earth set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap" (Josh 3:13). God changed the entire environment and made it possible to walk across without the pressure of wading through the powerful water only when they took the first step.

Risk means there is a potential for loss. However, when God leads us to take a risk, then He is there whether we succeed or fail. He is there in the success and He is there in the failure. If He leads you to take a risk it may not always succeed in the way you think. In fact, it could even fail.

The only true failure is when we fail to take the risk when God is leading us to do so. Sometimes the fear of failure is the greater obstacle than the risk itself.

Has God called you to step out in an area that requires risk? This could be the place He wants you to move. Ask Jesus to give you the courage to step out.

So now another few questions I afraid of so many things because of the risk required to step out in faith and just step out?? What am I afraid of losing if I step out and do what God is calling me to do or to give Him? Is hanging onto whatever it is I have a death grip on really worth holding onto? Will this soul of mine ever get surrendered to the point where these questions will just die?

So many questions & so much confusion. Perhaps my friend is right....I do over analyze things. Perhaps the best course of action for me is to go back to step one and just "be".

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Heroes & Zeroes

I was talking with a friend, AJ, today about what I have learned about me through my failed marriage and divorce. I was telling AJ that I didn't see my husband as a hero and I didn't treat him as such. That by not doing that I was in essence disrespecting him as a person. AJ mentioned that my husband's actions didn't seem to warrant me treating him like a hero.

That is the way the world are only perceived as your actions warrant. Jesus doesn't operate that way. We are all sinners, but Jesus doesn't see us as sinners. He sees past our sins, past our weaknesses and failures, He sees us as the children of God, the children of the King that we are. That is one thing I didn't do with my soon to be ex-husband. I only saw his fault and failures and I treated him according to what I saw.

When we let our eyes or glasses get clouded with past hurts, past failures, past disappointments we don't see clearly. Our vision is muddles with the past and sometimes present hurts, failures and disappointments. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse our vision. How does He do that? Well the first step is acknowledging that we can't handle this on our own, that we need our Savior to do this for us. The only thing we can save, and we can't always do it successfully, is money or something tangible. Only Jesus can save us from our sins, hurts, failures and disappointments.

Secondly we need to surrender all control of the hurts, failures, disappointments and sins over to Him. We surrender our lives and all the control therein over to Him. We humans tend to see surrender as a weakness and in an essence perhaps it is, but when we surrender our weaknesses to Him we get HIS strength in exchange. We get the good end of the deal...He gets our junk. It makes me think of what Granny always said...."making a silk purse out of a sows ear." Jesus takes our junk and makes it into something beautiful that can be re-used to help someone else. Jesus invented re-cycling....sorry side thought there.

When we surrender all of this stuff He has the opportunity to cleanse our vision and make it like His. This makes me hopeful for the future. As I allow Him to cleanse and purge me of all the worldly beliefs that rule how I operate then I get re-cycled into His image....I get recreated into a person that can be a blessing to someone else' life. There is the hope of loving and being loved again...finally having the person He is grooming in the same way for me. There is hope.

Holy Spirit I surrender all control and ownership of my hurts, failures, weaknesses and disappointments both past & present. Remake and reshape me into the person You desire for me to be. Cleanse my vision so that I no longer see others through the murky glasses & eyes that have been clouded by the circumstances of this life. Let me see people as You see heroes, conquerors, princes, & princesses. I surrender control of my emotions and allow You the freedom to help me react as you would to circumstances and people so I no longer react out of the past hurts, failures and disappointments. I desire to be a delight and blessing to You and to others. Let it be according to Your word in Jesus' name.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Still struggling, still seeking, still alive.

Wow last post was in April and I am sure some are wondering where did she go? Is she OK? How is her walk with the Lord? I am alive, still struggling and still seeking God and His glorious face in the midst of all that I am going through. I have found that by His grace & provision I am able to stay in the home He brought me too...Thank You Father.

I am learning more about me in this transition period....I have learned that sometimes I don't mind living alone with now 3 dogs; one died last weekend =(; but sometimes it really stinketh muchly living alone. I know, I know I am not entirely alone, but in the natural I am the only fleshly person here and the walls seem to creep in on my at times. I am working on many issues in my life with God. Some days it seems to be going well, other days it is silence either on my end or His. But I am hanging in there and trying to remain in His presence.

The divorce papers were finally filed by my spouse. I didn't think he would ever get around to filing but he has. So the end of this chapter of my life is in sight. When the papers were served, kind of embarrassing to have a sheriff show up on your doorstep to serve papers...but he was nice and helped me joke my way through signing for them....but it was done. I got inside with the papers and just felt numb. No anger, no sadness just an "OK it's done" attitude. It's his birthday today and I am not sure if I should text him to wish him a happy birthday or feels odd.

I went to church Thursday night and Prophet Bob was in town. Always a great time in the Lord when Bob is in town. I had been feeling for awhile that I am supposed to write a journal or perhaps a book about what I am going through...but then was wondering if it was my "pizza" brain telling me to do this. God spoke through Bob that I was going to write....Bob wasn't sure if it was poetry, prose, a journal, a diary, or a book, but Bob saw me writing. Who knows perhaps what God was showing Bob was me posting again here...I don't know. So here it is, I started this a bit before 6 a.m. I am writing again pouring out my heart and spirit for the world to read. Don't know how often I will be posting, but I have this and a pen and paper on stand by. Ready to write whatever God drops in my spirit or my own junk. I hope you continue to get something out of what I put here....not for my own glory but for God's glory and good in your life. Hugs and blessings dear reader. Until next post.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Remain Faithful to the End

Remain faithful to the end was a word the Lord spoke to me back in October when I was questioning whether my little church was closing. Who knew back then what all He was calling me to be faithful to when He spoke this. On this side of the knowing, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Since getting that word my little church had closed and I remained faithful to the ministry until it was finished. I was asked to tithe an extra month after we quit having services, to which I was faithful to do. Did it make sense? Oh no, to my analytical bean counting mind it surely didn't, but I remained obedient.

Now I have been called to yet another "be faithful to the end" moment. I am facing divorce, which is something I don't want. I desire reconcilliation, but my desire isn't the same as my spouse. Am I angry? Oh yes very much so. Do I feel like I have been taken advantage of? Oh yes, very much so. But inspite of that, I keep hear resounding in my spirit "be faithful until the end."

Does this mean the divorce is going to be a reality? I have no clue, it is all in the Master's hands...He is the Author & Finisher of my faith and only He knows this answer. My part, remain faithful to the end....whether it ends in 60 days or 30 years. Inspite of how I feel, I have to keep asking myself moment by moment WWJD...what would Jesus do, what would Jesus say....moment by moment it is a refining journey. A leg of the journey of letting go of my hurt, my disappointment, my rights to be right, my self defense....of letting go and letting God. Is it easy? Oh my no but then again yes. It isn't easy letting go of the control, especially when my life seems so out of control and beyond my grasp at the moment. But it is easy for when I let go I let God be God and let Him handle all the stress.

I know this post may be quite shocking to some of my friends; but God has called me to be transparent before the world. To my friends,I say keep me but especially my husband in prayer. Why more prayer for him? He is walking in rebellion, very much struggling and desperately in need of God right now even though he doesn't see that.

Yes I need God now and I have Him....He is with me through all of this and He keeps reminding me through His word, His people even through songs on the radio. I am pressing into God's presence during this time....seeking His glorious face, reading His word and allowing it to wash over me to heal me of my hurt & disappointment, I am praising Him with everything within me even though my heart is anything but celebratory.

Will He require me to be faithful to the end of more then this? My head and heart tell me that this very well could be the case. Faithful to what? Only He knows and He hasn't shown me yet what it is. Unlike us humans who require everything instant, God is very selective about what He wants done and in what time frame. So here I am, at Jesus' feet once again....broken, transparent & so much in love with Him that I am willing to die to whatever He calls me to.

I have to laugh a bit, because before this bit of being faithful was revealed to me I had told my new brothers & sisters in Christ that I was a "hard hat" zone right now. Before this and even in the midst of this God is requiring me to surrender my soul to Him. I am a hard hat zone not unlilke a construction site where hard hats are a must! I told my brothers & sisters in Christ that being close to me means they might get hit by something.....if it was good & God then I pray they allow it to change them into His image.....if it was something bad and from my flesh I apologize right now before it happens.

God has surrounded me with brothers & sisters who allow me to cry on their shoulders and to lean on. People to gird me up in support and prayer. Thank you each and everyone of you, my heart may be hurting right now, but it is also very full with the love and support I am receiving from each and everyone of you. Many hugs my dearest friends....I love each and everyone of you!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sheep Shed

I have been seeking God as to where He desires for me to go...what body of believers He desires me to become a part of. I think I have found just the place. The Sheep Shed. I have heard a good friend & prophet say that God was showing up in a mighty way in the little home bible studies that people are having throughout this nation. That is how the Sheep Shed started, a couple friends of mine started a small intimate bible study in their home on Thursday nights....word got out (friends telling friends) and well it got bigger then my friend's living room. So out back was an old sheep shed, a small cozy barn that was/is being converted into a small meeting place for believers to come together to worship and share what God is revealing to us in His word....but not just on Thursdays but some Sundays as well.

My first visit God was surely there waiting for me. It seemed like the whole service was tailor made around me and for me. Oh what a feeling to step into a room of praying, praising and worshipping believers; God's presence and synergy of faith in the room was tangible and awesome to my spirit.

I am excited to sit with these wonderful friends, to learn, heal, love and grow where God has planted me. To take what I learn and put it here or to directly speak with people about what I have and am learning at the feet of Jesus once again. It was a scary bit wandering and wondering where I is that way for folks in the world too. But when you find where you truly belong, when you find that place where God desires to plant you, that special garden of believers oh there is no feeling like it in this world.

I pray that those who are wandering today will open their hearts and find Jesus. He is alive...He resurrected out of the tomb and ascended to the Father today...Easter Sunday, Resurrection Sunday. Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father in heaven making intercession for ALL today....the lost and saved alike. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to indwell each and everyone who desires that indwelling. Our Lord, Savior and Friend is a gentleman...He won't force anyone, we get to choose. I pray those wandering in the spirit will find refuge in my beloved Jesus...for He is a strong tower of refuge and abiding in Him you can weather any me my life is quite stormy these days, but there is such peace when I abide in His presence. Many hugs beloveds, many blessings. I am off to dry my hair and finish getting ready to join my beloved sisters & brothers at the Sheep Shed. Hugs

Post Script - God truly amazes me!!! Just got back from the Sheep Shed and again service tailor made around me. This morning I posted the above then I was going over this blog a bit and I read the one I posted last Easter and how Pastor Q preached about the napkin....go read it for yourself. Pastor Tim this morning spoke about this same thing about how the kerchief (some translations read napkin) that was placed over Jesus' head was folded and laying by itself. How awesome of God to remind me that HE is the Author & Finisher of my faith and how HE isn't done with me yet, but also how this morning I was pondering that paper napkin still folded in my Bible as a constant reminder that I am not finished yet. It was a blessing to Brother Tim to hear about my paper napkin. They prayed over my new start with the Lord because that is what Resurrection Day is partly about a new start....mankind got a new start the day of the Crucifixion and life in relationship with God. How lovely and amazing He truly is. Take a moment and ask the Lord to forgive you of your sins, He surely will then enjoy this first day of your new life in the Lord.

Monday, March 29, 2010


This was a turbulent week for my Lord & Savior, Jesus. As I go through this week thinking about all that Jesus did on the cross for you and me, I noticed that tomorrow is Passover. Yes, I read about the children of Israel and how they were to anoint the doorposts & lintels of their houses with the blood of a spotless lamb and how the death spirit would passover their houses. But I never really put a complete connection with the Old Testament act with the New Testament Jesus. I was reading my email today from Elijah List....for those interested you can sign up at and get prophetic words sent to your email. Any who, I read the following in today's post and figured I would copy & paste it here for others to read. It is a bit lengthy, but worth ever moment to read. I pray you learn something new not only about the Passover celebration, but also how it was a foreshadowing of our sweet beloved Jesus.

Chuck D. Pierce and Robert Heidler: Why Passover?
by Chuck Pierce and Robert Heidler
Mar 29, 2010

So many have asked the simple question: Why Passover? In Exodus 12:13-14 we read, The blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you live; and when I see the blood I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you when I strike the land of Egypt. This day will be a memorial to you, and you shall celebrate it as a feast to the Lord. Throughout your generations you are to celebrate it as a permanent ordinance.

Robert Heidler

As we approach the celebration of PASSOVER we must remember that Passover is a celebration designed by God! This Feast and event was given to increase our faith and prepare us to enter into the fullness of His blessing! Passover was commanded by God for the Jews in the Old Testament to teach them the importance of redemption by the blood. But it was also observed by Christians in the New Testament to remember and understand God's redeeming work. The Bible tells us it is to be a permanent ordinance…a celebration for all time.

Many Christians don't realize that Passover is just as much a New Testament Feast as an Old Testament Feast. It's all through the New Testament. Jesus and the apostles all celebrated Passover. The original Lord's Supper was a Passover meal. The apostles taught the Gentile churches to celebrate Passover. In 1 Corinthians, Paul wrote to a predominantly Gentile church and said: "Christ OUR Passover Lamb has been slain, therefore let us celebrate the feast!" For hundreds of years, Passover was the most important yearly celebration in the early Church.

What Makes Passover So Important?

Derek Prince once said that the most powerful faith declaration for deliverance is this: "I am redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb out of the hand of the enemy!" He said that if you can make that declaration in faith, and keep on making it, something will happen. You will be delivered from the power of the enemy. That's really the message of Passover. The Feast of Passover is a faith declaration that we are redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb. It does something in us when we celebrate Passover. When we come together to remember God's great works of redemption, and declare the power of redemption in our lives today, it ALWAYS does something!

Passover is very important to God. But satan HATES Passover. The enemy has worked diligently to steal Passover away. The good news is: God is restoring Passover. But it is a battle! The battle for Passover is the battle for the Blood. Satan wants to give us a bloodless religion, because a bloodless religion has no power. The power is in the Blood!

There's always a battle for PASSOVER. We see it in Church history. In the 4th century, when the emperor Constantine tried to merge Christianity and paganism, it sounded like a good deal to many. He legalized Christianity. You could go to church without having to fear being thrown to the lions. And Constantine didn't mind Christians having a celebration of Jesus' resurrection…but he did have an issue with PASSOVER. He demanded that Christians not celebrate Jesus' resurrection at the time of Passover. At the Council of Nicea (A.D. 325), he declared, "This irregularity [observing Passover] MUST be corrected!"

At the council of Nicea, Constantine outlawed Passover and directed that Christ's death and resurrection be celebrated on "the Sunday following the first full moon after the vernal equinox," which is a time associated with the spring festival of the pagan fertility goddess Ishtar also known as Eastre. (That's why in the Church today we celebrate the resurrection at Easter instead of Passover.) Constantine's goal was to remove Jesus from the context of Passover.

The Battle Continues! Many in the Church resisted Constantine's edicts, so for many centuries after Constantine, the battle for Passover continued. In the sixth century, for example, Emperor Justinian sent the Roman armies throughout the empire to enforce the prohibition on Passover. In his attempt to wipe out the "heresy" of Passover, thousands of men, women and children were brutally murdered. Entire cities were massacred for refusing to stop celebrating Passover. (The battle for Passover has had many casualties.) Pressured by the government, the Roman Church joined in the attempts to stamp out Passover. Notice some of the decrees passed against Passover by various church councils.

A Curse Pronounced!

THE COUNCIL OF ANTIOCH (A.D. 345) – "If any bishop, presbyter or deacon will dare, after this decree, to celebrate Passover, the council judges them to be anathema from the Church. This council not only deposes them from ministry, but also any others who dare to communicate with them." (The word anathema means "cursed." The Church actually pronounced a curse on Christians who would celebrate Passover!)

THE COUNCIL OF LAODICEA (A.D. 365) – "It is not permitted to receive festivals which are by Jews."

THE COUNCIL OF AGDE, FRANCE (506) – "Christians MUST NOT take part in Jewish festivals."

THE COUNCIL OF TOLEDO X (7th century) – Easter must be celebrated at the time set by the decree of Nicea.

The battle for Passover is seen clearly in Church history! That battle against Passover is nothing new. We see the same thing in the Bible: satan always tries to steal away Passover, because he knows the celebration of the Blood releases power. Look what happened in Hezekiah's day:

Hezekiah did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. He repaired and cleansed the temple, tore down the false altars, restored the sacrifices, and Davidic praise. Then Hezekiah sent word to all Israel and Judah, inviting them to come to celebrate Passover. Couriers went throughout Israel and Judah: "People of Israel, return to the Lord." The hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king had ordered. A very large crowd of people assembled in Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast. They slaughtered the Passover lamb and celebrated the Feast for seven days with great rejoicing, while the Levites sang to the Lord every day, accompanied by instruments of praise. The whole assembly then agreed to celebrate the festival seven more days; so for another seven days they celebrated joyfully. There was great joy in Jerusalem, for since the days of Solomon son of David, king of Israel there had been nothing like this in Jerusalem. The priests and the Levites stood to bless the people, and God heard them, for their prayer reached Heaven, His holy dwelling place (see 2 Chronicles 29-30 for more).

The same thing was happening in Josiah's Day: Josiah did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. In the 18th year of his reign, while repairing the temple, they found the TORAH scroll in the temple. When the king heard the words of the Torah scroll, he tore his robes. He went up to the temple with all the people. He read in their hearing all the words of the Covenant. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant. The king ordered them to remove from the temple all the idols made for Baal and Asherah and all the starry hosts. He tore down the quarters of the male prostitutes, which were in the temple…The king gave this order to all the people: "Celebrate Passover to the Lord your God, as it is written in this scroll of the Covenant." In the 18th year of King Josiah, this Passover was celebrated to the Lord in Jerusalem. Not since the days of the judges who led Israel, nor throughout the days of the kings of Israel and the kings of Judah, had such a Passover been observed" (see 2 Kings 22-23 for more).

We see a Biblical pattern! In both of these passages, God's people had drifted far from the Lord and turned to idolatry, and the blessing of God was lost. They turned back to God and sought Him, and the first thing God did was restore Passover! As they turned from pagan idols and celebrated Passover, they were restored to God and experienced great joy and blessing. That's an interesting pattern. Over and over again in the Bible, we discover that Passover had been LOST. Even during the Old Testament era, and even among the Jews, generations lived and died without celebrating Passover.

Why had Passover been lost? Satan had STOLEN it away! Satan always wants to steal Passover. Then, as a new generation turned back to the Lord, and began to read the Bible, they read about Passover for the first time. It seemed strange to them. They said, "We've never done this!" (That's exactly what we see in much of the Church today.) But as the Holy Spirit moved on their hearts, they celebrated God's feast of redemption, and God's power and joy were restored!

Why Does Satan Hate Passover?

Satan hates Passover because Passover is the celebration of JESUS. When the Church gave up Passover, it invented other celebrations of Jesus. That is how we shifted the timing of our celebration to Christmas and Easter. It's not bad to celebrate Jesus on those other days. (It's always good to celebrate Jesus.) But the celebration of Jesus that God gave us is called Passover!

The New Testament tells us that Jesus IS the Passover Lamb. When John introduced Jesus He said, "Behold the LAMB!" Paul said: Christ, our PASSOVER LAMB has been slain! Celebrating Passover IS celebrating Jesus! As the Passover Lamb, He shed His Blood to redeem us from the enemy. When His Blood is "on the doorpost" of your life, God delivers you from the destroyer. So if you understand Passover, you automatically understand what Jesus did.

On the original Passover night, everything pointed to Jesus. Every father in Israel was told to stand at the door of his house with a basin containing the blood of the lamb. He was to dip a branch of hissop into the blood and smear the blood on the two doorposts of the house. Then he was to repeat the action and put the blood on the lintel over the door. If you can picture the motion he made with that blood-soaked branch of hissop, you'll see he was making the sign of the Cross!

On Passover night, every father in Israel made the sign of the cross in the blood of the lamb. And as result, the family experienced redemption from the power of the enemy! God's deliverance always comes by His Cross and by His Blood. That's what Passover celebrates. You see, it was not by accident that Jesus died on Passover. God could have had Jesus die any time of year. But it was God's will for Him to die at Passover, so we would recognize that He is the Passover Lamb!

Passover is so important to God that He chose to have the most important event in history (the death and resurrection of Jesus) take place at Passover. God went to great lengths to CONNECT the sacrifice of Jesus to Passover. (This is interesting: Constantine's goal was to separate the work of Jesus from Passover, while God's goal was to connect Jesus' work to Passover.) God wants us to think of Jesus in the context of the Passover celebration!

The Timetable of Passover

It's interesting to compare the timetable of Jesus' crucifixion with the Passover celebration. According to the Torah, at the time of Passover a number of events had to take place in a specific order, and at very specific times.

1. The Passover Lamb had to be selected on a specific day. Exodus 12 instructs that the Passover lamb be chosen on the 10th day of 1st month. By the time of Jesus, only lambs from Bethlehem were considered eligible to serve as Passover lambs. So the lamb born in Bethlehem was chosen and brought into Jerusalem from the east (down the Mount of Olives) and entered the city through the sheep gate. On the 10th day of 1st month Jesus, the Lamb born in Bethlehem, came down the Mount of Olives and entered Jerusalem through the sheep gate. (This is called His "triumphal entry.") As He entered, the people waved palm branches and shouted "Blessed is he that comes in the name of the LORD! Save us, Son of David!" By mass acclamation Jesus is designated as Israel's Messiah! The crowds had chosen their Passover Lamb!

2. The Lamb then had to be examined. The Torah instructed that once the lamb was chosen, it had to be carefully examined for blemishes. Only a perfect, spotless and unblemished lamb would suffice for the Passover. After arriving in Jerusalem, Jesus went to the Temple to teach. While there, He was approached by the Pharisees, Sadducees, Herodians and the teachers of the Law. Each group posed difficult questions, trying to trap him. Essentially, they were looking for any blemish which might disqualify Him as Messiah. But no one could find fault with Him. He was without blemish.

3. The Leaven (impurity) must be cast out. Torah instructs that before the feast, all leaven (impurity) must be cast out of every Israelite home. Each mother took a candle and searched out impurity, removing it from her house. This regulation is still observed today. Passover is a time to cleanse every house. Every observant Jewish family carefully cleans their house before Passover. Every trace of impurity is removed. After Jesus arrived in Jerusalem, He entered the Temple and cast out the moneychangers. He was following the Biblical instruction to prepare for Passover by cleansing His Father's house.

4. The Lamb is taken to the altar for public display. On the morning of the 14th day of the 1st month, when all has been set in order, the lamb was led out to the altar. At 9 a.m. that morning, the lamb was bound to the altar and put on public display for all to see. On the morning of the 14th day of the 1st month, when all had been fulfilled, Jesus was led out to Calvary. At 9 a.m. that morning, just as the lamb was being bound to the altar, Jesus was nailed to the Cross and put on public display at Calvary.

5. The Lamb was slain at a specific time. At exactly 3 p.m. the high priest ascended the altar. As another priest blew a shofar on the temple wall, the high priest cuts the throat of the sacrificial Lamb, and declared, "IT IS FINISHED!" At 3 p.m. on that high holy day, at the moment the Passover lamb was killed, Jesus cried with a loud voice, "IT IS FINISHED," and gave up His spirit. In Greek, "It is finished" is tetelistai! It means, "The debt has been paid in full!"

The Celebration of Jesus!

Do you see how God chose to connect Jesus with Passover? It's no wonder John introduces Jesus by saying, "Behold the Lamb!" It's no wonder Paul writes "Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been slain!" Passover is all about Jesus! Do you see that Passover is all About JESUS?

* He came as the LAMB of God!
* His Blood redeems US!
* By His Blood…judgment turned away!
* By His Blood…the power of the enemy is broken!
* By His Blood…we are released from bondage and oppression.
* By His Blood…we are set free to enter into God's Promise!

Passover is the "JESUS" Celebration! The more you understand Passover, the more you appreciate Jesus! If you don't understand Passover, you have a hard time fully understanding what Jesus did. As you celebrate Passover, you are declaring your faith in the power of His Blood and His redemption. That's why one of strangest things in the world is that Christians all over the world have accepted satan's lie that Passover is not a "Christian" thing! Satan tries to steal away Passover, because he knows the celebration of the Blood releases power! When the celebration of Passover was stolen away, the power left! But when Passover is restored, the power RETURNS!

The Good News is—God is RESTORING Passover! All over the world churches are again celebrating Passover! And the POWER is returning! We invite you to celebrate the power of Jesus' Blood. We invite you to join with Christians all over the world in the restoration of Passover. Join with us in proclaiming: We are REDEEMED by the BLOOD OF THE LAMB, out of the hand of the enemy!

If you would like to know more about Passover and see suggestions for celebrating it, we recommend the book The Messianic Church Arising! by Dr. Robert Heidler.


Chuck D. Pierce and Robert Heidler
Glory of Zion International Ministries

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hello Russia!

At the prompting of a good friend (Thanks Ted) I installed Analytics to my blog so I could see where folks visiting this blog were from. It totally blew me away that I had 5 hits from Russia. To the fine folks in Russia, I hope you got something out of my crazy adventure with my beloved Lord & King Jesus. I do hope you come back, read, pray & maybe leave a comment...hopefully a positive one....but a comment nonetheless.

Yes folks, this blog is open to commentary...I just have one humble request...please be polite. That is all I ask as not millions but several people hit and read this blog on a weekly basis and we don't want to say something snarly we will regret or have to repent for!

God's word calls us to make preach the Good News to the nations. I guess in one small way this blog does perhaps that. Tells folks about a journey following Christ and that it isn't a "perfect" journey...I get angry, jealous, mouthy at times just like any other human being...the difference between me, a Christian, and Joe Blow off the street....when I get snarly even for a brief moment I feel horrible about it before the Holy Spirit checks me for it!

To those that wish to comment about a piece of revelation they get reading God's word....feel free to post it here. I am by NO means an expert....just a person on a journey. My wise old grandmother said that the day we stop learning is the day we die. I am yet still learning. Many welcoming hugs and blessings to all my visitors...old and new!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Seeking God/Finding Me

I have been busy...busy seeking God's presence and comfort. Sadly my little church closed over a month ago and it didn't close in a nice way. Many hurts came from it, but in retrospect I can only say to God be the glory in it all.

I have learned a few things about life and people in the midst of all this chaos. But most importantly I have learned oh so much more about me....things I don't like, but am willing for God to touch & change! About a month before my little church closed I was having what I call a God moment at work. Yep, snot slinging and tongue speaking prayerful God moment. It is like the Holy Spirit showed up full force in my office and I flat out didn't care what anyone thought. Then He started speaking to me about a couple of things in my life....the presence of God was so thick in my office all I could do was weep. What should happen next, but a co-worker came in to drop off paperwork and saw the whole thing. He was nice and asked if I was which I replied tearfully I was fine, just having a God moment.

I was weepy off and on for several hours which made working quite interesting indeed. At lunch time I went to go heat up my lunch...still in a God moment and weepy. My co-worker asked again if I was which I replied this time, "This is what crucifixion looks like." Oh little did I know then that this was exactly what was happening to me. Then came the church closing, the lies slinging and the deep hurts that were caused. God's word is true folks....He works everything for the good of those who love Him and are called to HIS purposes. Out of the midst of all this pain and sorrow came the rebirth of an old friendship. Oh we remained friends but we weren't close or speaking due to some outstanding issues that kept us apart. But I reunited with this dear spirit and friend. We drank coffee, we cried, we prayed in the midst of a restaurant in town.

At the end of our get together, she handed me a book...."Exquisite Agony" by Gene Edwards. I had borrowed and read this many years ago and my dear friend said the Lord put it on her heart to give me her copy to read once again. For those that haven't read this book it deals with hurts sustained by fellow Christians. How God uses our brothers & sisters in Christ to "crucify" us as a means of putting on the cross those things that are not pleasing to Him. I know mind blowing isn't it!!! Here a month prior I tell a friend that what I was going through was crucifixion and wasn't totally aware that all that transpired after that was totally that!

So here I am, behind in my "Daily Walk" reading as I have been quite busy in His presence. Allowing the Holy Spirit to shine His light within me exposing negative mindsets, attitudes, & emotions that are not God's best but my soul's result. And I have picked up a book that was being taught right before the church closed...."The Unsurrendered Soul" by Liberty Savard. I have always only gone so far into God's presence and couldn't understand what was causing me to stop short of fully getting into His presence....this book is shedding more of His glorious light within me showing me what the hindrance has soul isn't surrendered to Him fully. So again, more time reading, praying & seeking His glorious presence, love and healing.

So here I am once again...a hard hat zone. Allowing the Holy Spirit access to tear down strongholds that I have built within me and allowing Him to reconstruct me into the woman He created me to be. I call it a hard hat zone because like most construction sites you might get hit by flying caution close friends. Being with me might cause some of what is going on within me to hit you. Some of it might be good as it will cause change in you as well...some of it might be junk and flat out ugly. For that I apologize right now for....death is not pretty and death to self (flesh) isn't easy, but with God's grace it is obtainable. Many hugs, many prayers, many blessings!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Can't Get Enough

I will be in sporatically from here on out...check back periodically to see if I have anything fresh from the Throne Room. Hanging out with friends in the God's word...Daily Walking Through The Bible. Seeking the face of God like I have never done before.

God called out to me before Jan 1st asking "Will you seek me?" My only answer was YES. So as I type this I have the praise and worship from IHOP (International House of Prayer) in my headphones and my heart is singing to the Lord. If you get a chance go to and click on the prayer room tv link at the bottom right of the page. It's free, won't cost you anything materialistic but it will give your soul such prosperity. While you are listening to the worship, praise, intercession and prayer grab His word and start a fresh journey of intimacy today. God is calling out "Will you seek ME?" What is your answer? Are you willing to risk it all for His all? Don't worry about those around you...God will take care of them...just run to the mercy seat and cling to the Lord of lords.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I have been reading and pondering the beginning as some may know from my last post. On this Daily Walk 2010 that I am doing the first chapters we read on 1/1/10 was Genesis 1 & 2. It has us ponder a thought "By God's design I am ________" and we had to fill in the blank. The daily devotion gave a few scriptures for us to ponder as a way of getting our creative juices flowing in discover the _________ part of the thought.

Ephesians 2:10 " For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Amplified version

I usually read out of the New King James Version, but I spoiled myself and purchased "The Everyday Life Bible, Amplified Version" with commentary by Joyce Meyer. I try to stay as close to the King James Version as I can as I believe with other interpretations man has the opportunity to put his own 2 cents in....ah but fodder for another blog! Anywho, I have been reading the amplified version as a way of grasping sometimes better understanding of what God is saying...I flipped back and forth between the 2 versions as I am reading most times ;o).

Back to the point at hand...sorry for the thought rabbit trail. Ephesians 2:10....God is taking me back to some foundational teaching in this verse. Many years ago He showed me this verse and the meaning of "workmanship" and I like how the amplified translates it "handiwork"....hand, we are all created by the Master Potter's hand...sorry thought processes are still pondering. Workmanship in the Greek is "poema"....the same root word we get the English word poem from. Like I said, He is taking me down some foundational teaching based upon this one thought.

We are a poem written by the Creator's hand long before we were planted in our mother's womb. Adam was created by God's own hand out of the dust. Eve was created by God's own hand by way of Adam's rib....we all were created [written] by the Master's hand. A living, breathing, active poem of God's love for other's to read. This life I call my own is a sweet prose some days, but others......

Adam & Eve took a hold of the pen and started writing their own bits of their life poems when they sinned in the garden. Their life poems went from ones of intimacy and close fellowship with the Father to dark prose of sin. The same with "my" life....when I allow the Master to recreate this poem it is beautiful prose...some of it encouraging and some a bit sorrowful; but as I see it you can't fully appreciate the sweet without a bit of bitterness...again fodder for another blog! But when I take a hold of that pen, when I decide I can better write the next part better then the Creator of not only myself but the universe I end up with dark prose of sin.

Who is in control of the pen? The Author & Finisher of your faith or you? Is your poem one of sweet & bittersweet or is it just bitter and dark? If it is the latter there is still hope and His name is Jesus. Look again at the amplified version of Ephesians 2:10 "we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus" See that??? Like a script writer makes "re-writes" to all those Hollywood scripts to tell the story from the proper angle Jesus recreates our poem...He re-writes it to reflect God's intended purpose and plan. What an awesome thought to start the new year with.

God I surrender to Your plan and purpose. Take up again the pen that writes this love poem of life. Recreate, Jesus, the dark prose to one of Your glorious light to shine brightly for others to see, giving hope to the hopeless and direction back to You. I pray Psalm 90:17 "And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands - yes, the work of our hands, confirm and establish it." Lord let Your favor, Your delight and Your approval be upon me as I go about Your work and Your work alone. Confirm and establish the work I do on Your behalf with Your plan and purpose. Amen