Never an inconvenience

I had a situation this past week that caused my heart to sink but my focus to go straight to the Lord. On Friday I had called a family member to make inquires of a personal nature.  Rather than getting an "Are you OK?" or "Do you need prayer?" like I had hope to get I got "Ask, I am packing for vacation."  I don't know if they meant the tone that was received, but it felt like I was a total inconvenience especially as the conversation went further along.  Frankly it was cold & broke my heart......yes I cried buckets at the feet of Jesus.

Saturday morning when I woke up, I still had that crummy feeling like I was now not only an inconvenience to the 1 but perhaps many people in my life.  I went about the day with my head down & my heart really down.  In the afternoon, I attended a wedding with my beloved husband & my beloved Jesus.  The bride was so beautiful, the groom so attentive to her that when the pastor asked them to hold hands he didn't let go.....not even when they hugged their family at the end of the ceremony.  Yes this got the wheels turning in my head about Jesus, but I laid the thought to the side, considered but not fully pondered.

Sunday morning while listening to the choir singing & the pastor preaching I got the overwhelming feeling of love.  The though I had Saturday was back in my head & I had a moment to ponder.  Jesus never considered me an inconvenience when He prayed in the garden, never an inconvenience during the beating He took at the hands of fools, never an inconvenience when He was hung between 2 thieves.....even the 1 who asked to be remembered wasn't an inconvenience but a welcomed loved one.

Jesus died for me, He died for all.  We were never inconveniences but moment to demonstrate His own & the Father's love for us.  Moments to heal & reconcile....moments of opportunity.  This got me to thinking of how I treat others in my life.  I have pondered this thought this entire week & I was very mindful of how I treated everyone I encountered at work.  God surprised me on Thursday with an Employee of the Month award.....His little way to reward me for being faithful to hear, receive, & act upon every lesson He gives me....even when they hurt.

My prayer today on Resurrection Sunday is to draw ever closer to Him.  To be more like Jesus, to ever hear the promptings of the Holy Spirit & to treat everyone as an importance & not inconvenience.

To "perform" or to "minister" that is the question.

I heard someone say today that they "perform" to an audience of One. Something just didn't sound right to my ears nor rang well with my spirit.  So being the studious student that I am, I of course Googled both definitions and set to pondering.

To "perform" is to "adhere to the terms of (as in a contract); to do in a formal manner according to a prescribed ritual; to give a rendition of; to carry out an action or pattern of behavior; to give a performance; to play".  To "minister" is to "to give service, care or aid; to attend, as to wants or necessities; to contribute, as to comfort or happiness".

Knowing the difference is crucial in these times & days ahead.  To perform is to go through the motions without opening one's heart & life.  It is to just do with no feeling or thought.  To minister is to open one's heart & life to be poured out like a drink offering.  Jesus didn't peform the act of sacrifice; He ministered as the act of sacrifice.  Jesus gave up everything He was & had so that we could be reconciled back to God the Father....no performing there.

This leads me back to the question God asked me in church last week...."Why are you here?"  Why do we go to church week after week?  Do we go to "perform" or to "minister" to that audience of One or are we there to be seen among men?  Are we there to give service, care & aid to those in the body of Christ?  Or are we there to give a rendition of being Christians?  Are we there to minister as in to attends to the wants & needs of the Father or our own stinking flesh?

Cutting questions that each of us has to examine & look at with a sincere heart & spirit.  I know I have been examining my own motives, heart & spirit lately.  I encourage you to do the same.  Why are you going to church?  If you are not going....why aren't you?  Are you performing or ministering?  Who is the one you are ministering to....your flesh or God when you do or don't go?  

I learned how to worship God when I first started this journey.  I learned to hear His still small voice & to move accordingly.   I was so head over heels in love with God & couldn't wait to get into His presence.   But then I allowed man to talk me into thinking I wasn't having a true & honest relationship with God.  I allowed circumstances & the actions of others to make me question everything I knew was true & right.  I have been calling out to God that I want what was lost between He & I by allowing man in & pushing Him away out of doubt & fear.

While walking on my treadmill the other night I cried out once again to God.  I realized I can't have the relationship of the past because that is where it belongs in my past.  I can have a fresh new & mature relationship with Him now.  A relationship of honesty of heart; a relationship that has weathered the storms of trial & the days of triumph.  I have come to realize I am still hungry for His amazing presence, to read His wonderful Word, I am still desiring to sit before His feet to learn His heart & needs, I am still desiring to minister to Him & Him alone; ministering not performing to an audience of One....the Only True One.

Ask yourself the cutting questions, answer them honestly, get before God & pour out your heart & life to Him.  If you want to save your life, give it totally away to God & He shall preserve it.  Matter of fact your life will be all the richer for it.  Oh yes, there will be trials & tribulations....hard times & heart ache, but the investment of yourself in to Christ is totally worth it.  Especially on the days when you can honestly see where your life has been & how it has grown in Him.  As for me, I have a walk to do not only on my treadmill today, but with my Savior helping others.  Have a blessed day.

Hernia, Ice Cream & Sin

Odd title, I know.   You may be thinking exactly what is the common theme?  How do these three tie together.  Well with God there is always a connection.......

About a year ago I was diagnosed with gastritis & a hiatal or stomach hernia.  VERY painful if I don't eat the right foods.  Some foods trigger my gastritis to act up which causes the hernia to hurt.  Some of the foods that trigger it are some of my favorites.  Yep you guessed it ICE CREAM or any dairy....am ok with some cheeses, but not all.

I was at the grocery store & they had a sale on those gallon buckets of ice cream.  To beat it all, it was my favorite brand too; Prairie Farms.  Oh, I not a snob, I like all flavors of ice cream & chocolate being my ultimate favorite.  But there is something SO compelling about Prairie Farms plain ole, I feel myself drooling, Vanilla.  It is so creamy & deliciously vanilla.  Yes I found one of those buckets following me home like a lost puppy found.

I thought a scoop or two wouldn't hurt me; I hadn't had any ice cream or very much dairy in my diet in a very long time.  I could control myself & ration that bucket out for at least a month or two if I was careful.  My husband wasn't much help.  A couple scoops one night turned into a couple scoops every night for about 5 days in a row.  As you can imagine, my gastritis started my stomach a churning.  This caused pain in my stomach to increase & cause irritation to my hernia which started hurting.  Very uncomfortable sitting, sleeping, just being alive; pain FULL.

I was in church praying the pain would go away when the Lord reminded me that I caused my own pain.  Ice cream like sin doesn't seem too harmful in small doses or little things.  But if one doesn't see ice cream (or sin for that matter) as harmful & continues to partake of it oh the pain it will cause later on.  We can find ourselves in a bitter & painful season.  How God uses the ordinary to explain the heavenly purposes of life.

I repented for the gluttony & for thinking I knew what was better for my life than the Great Physician does.  I have avoided ice cream & asked the Lord to remove all temptation for it from me.  I am pleased to report that although I am not totally healed of my gastritis it is getting better every day I CHOOSE not to partake of any dairy & other foods that irritate it.

If you find yourself in a vicious cycle as I did, but with sin, be of good cheer.  Jesus is right there waiting for you to recognize the error of your ways.  Waiting for you to recognize what is amiss & wrong with your life.  Waiting for you to repent for partaking in whatever sin you find yourself caught up in.  Waiting for you to realize & repent for thinking you can do this thing called life without Him.  Watching & waiting for you to return to the lifestyle He desires for you to have a happy, healthy & abundant life.  Invite Jesus into your heart & life today......He is well worth the effort just like & MORE so than my putting the effort into watching my diet is worth it for me.

Am I speaking Chinese?

I have had many instances this week where I have talked to people or sent emails only to end up in confusion like I was speaking  Chinese or some other foreign language.  It was very frustrating & a few times I did lose my cool.

I was in church this morning wondering if God even hears me.  Well I am pleased to say that yes, indeed God does in fact hear every word I say....especially my prayers.  He has been very faithful this week to give attention to what I am saying & requesting.  He has been doubly faithful to answer my prayers.  Yes to the world I may be speaking a foreign language but my Heavenly Father I am speaking plain & clear.

It is awe inspiring when I have these God encounters.  Had a second encounter when talking with my sweet friend Mary.  She asked me to pray for her grand daughter a couple months ago.  Today she caught me after church, said she wanted to introduce me to her grand daughter.  She further stated that her grand daughter knew me.  Turns out I we met at a few church meetings a mutual friend used to hold in their barn.  Such a small world when we really think about it.

Been a very interesting day for sure, but one thing I have come away with is that we ALL can come as we are to God.  We can come at our best & our worst.  Matter of fact, it is when we are at our worst....be it spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically....that God desires we come to Him to receive His love, His blessings, His healing...but first on the list is His gift of reconciliation with Him through the loving gift of His Son, Jesus.  There is a song by Crowder called Come As You Are....here is a link for the YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2zhf2mqEMI, but below are the words.  God doesn't just want the lost sinner, He is calling today those who are burdened, sad, broken hearted, those who are sick in body as well as spirit.  He is calling all His children.  Will you answer that call?

"Come As You Are"

Come out of sadness
From wherever you’ve been
Come broken hearted
Let rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

There’s hope for the hopeless
And all those who’ve strayed
Come sit at the table
Come taste the grace
There’s rest for the weary
Rest that endures
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t cure

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are
Come as you are
Fall in his arms
Come as you are
There’s joy for the morning
Oh sinner be still
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are
Come as you are
Come as you are

Still around & still amazed at God

I know, I know; I haven't blogged in what seems like eternity.  Frankly, I got too busy.  Busy with just life & sadly too busy to blog.  But much to the chagrin of the enemy, I am still around & still amazed at God.  Amazed at His wonderful loving kindness, at His creative beauty in creation, still amazed He loves me when I am painfully neglectful of Him.  God is more than I ever imagined & better than I ever deserve.  I love You Father, I love You Jesus, I love You Holy Spirit....blessed Trinity I stand in awe of You.

I subscribe to & DO read "In Touch Ministries" devotionals.  Tonight's was beautiful & set my mind on my truly amazing Father....God.  It started out with Isaiah 40:12-31.....NOPE I am not going to have a spoiler alert....you MUST go read it yourself.  But I will give you a link, www.biblegateway.com where you can go & find God's living word.  The devotional that goes with the companion scripture is as follows:

"If you ask a group of people what God is like, you will receive many different answers.  Some will say He is a force somewhere in the cosmos, while others picture a benevolent grandfather type who overlooks "little sins."  Most of the time, the description given will reveal more about the speaker than about the real Jehovah.  In fact, the true God might surprise you.

As the Father reveals Himself in Scripture, one word that's never used when referring to Him is "it."  God IS (emphasis mine) a person; in every reference, He is given a name (Yahweh, Elohim, Lord) or referred to by masculine pronouns (He, Him).  He fits all the attributes of personhood -- intelligence to reason, emotions to feel, & the will to make decisions.  From Genesis to Revelation, God displays these features.

Scripture also shows God's immutability.  Let us be clear about what that means:  Neither the Lord's nature nor His character ever changes -- He is always Spirit, and His love remains constant.  We can all expect that God's principles & laws will hold true & that He will act exactly as He has promised.  While He does adjust His emotions to fit a situation; delight, anger & other feelings are nuances of His being, not new traits.

God is eternal -- He has no beginning or end.  He is the same yesterday, today & forever.  No one created Him; God simply is.  That's hard for humans to understand, but if the Lord were completely explainable, He would be like us & unworthy of worship.  If we are to honor the Father, we should know Him as He really is -- eternal & unchanging."

I was blessed & reminded by reading Isaiah 40:12-31 of WHO God is.  Reminded by this devotional of His nature & that unlike people He is eternal & will not fail.  I am reminded of my Father, of my first REAL love....Jesus.  Reminded that I just need to slow down, take my time reading my devotionals (I like to read them out loud to my poodles who I hope patiently listen), take time to be amazed by our Amazing God & reconnect with Him to get what my spirit desperately needs daily.  I encourage you....grab your Bible or go online to read God's word.  Reconnect with the Fountain of Living Water.

Back & Bothered

I went to Bible Study tonight & frankly came away bothered.  One of the men leading tonight's discussion made a comment that frankly bothered me & continues to bother me.  So knowing this blog is here for me to share God's revelation in my life, my walk with Him & a place to vent; here I am....bothered.

This person I know stated tonight that "God's love comes with conditions....He requires us to be faithful, obedient,etc."  Frankly this flat out bothered me when he said it & continues to sit in my craw the wrong way as my Granny would say.  I don't know how anyone could say God doesn't love "unconditionally"....especially if they READ His word.  I pointed out to this person John 3:16, "For God so LOVED the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  I am sorry but to me that means God unconditionally loved the world that He gave of Himself that none should perish.  No where does it say I had to be faithful before He gave.  That I had to be obedient before He gave.   God loved so He gave.

There is a sweet woman that comes faithfully every Wednesday night she is able.  She is a sweet lady who isn't as mature in Christ as many.  She is older than me in age, but in her walk with God she is a babe in Christ.  She is facing breast cancer right now & I am sure questioning God & trying to stand on His word that "by Jesus' stripes, she is healed."  I can't say I know exactly what she is going through, but I can understand.

Several of my friends who have battled cancer had moments of doubt & weakness.  Who wouldn't when your body is being bombarded by chemo & you don't see any immediate change in your circumstances.  I am praying my friend doesn't doubt God's love for her if & when she has a moment of disbelief; for disbelief is the opposite of faith you know.

If God only loves us when we are faithful & obedient then I really messed up last week when I lost my temper......I guess this means according to that 1 person that I am no longer loved & wasn't forgiven when I asked for His forgiveness.  I love this person, I truly do; but I can't abide by what was being taught in that moment.  I can't idly sit by and not speak up that you....yeah you who may be facing some pretty tough circumstances...God loves you & He cares.  You that might have landed on this page, started reading & stayed....yeah you that may not be living life like God desires.....He loves you & He cares.  That you that lost your temper today...yep you He loves & cares for.  You that may have told a lie, cheated on a test or worse your spouse....yep He loves & cares for you too.

Even though we ALL fall short of the Glory of God....He still loves us & NOT only when we do right.  He loved the world when the majority of the world didn't love Him & weren't walking with Him.  God loved & still loves the world that He sacrificed His Son, Jesus, so that we might have everlasting life with HIM...yeah Him God!  Nothing says love more then giving your all for another....and this is exactly what God did because He loved us all first.

I am praying right now for the 1 that said what he said,  I am praying for all the other people that were in the room hearing what he said.  I am praying for sweet innocent Melanie that she will never doubt God's love....especially in her time of crisis with breast cancer.  I am praying and & all that might read this post won't doubt God infinite love.  You right where you are; you are loved by the Creator of the Universe.  He knew you before the foundations of the earth were formed.  He knew every right & wrong step you ever made & loved you through each step.  He loves you so much He isn't willing to let you stay that way & end up going to hell.  All God asks of you is to confess your sin openly to Him,  Tell Him of your need for a Savior, Jesus.  Invite Jesus into your heart & allow the unending love of God to flow into your life, washing you clean as snow.  But then don't let it stop there....get into a good church group.  Allow His saints to love you, to teach you, to help God make the changes in you He desires to me.  He is a phenomenal Father who loves us all very much.  When we do wrong, He is disappointed in us but still loves us.

Removing the mask, discovering me.

Tonight while surfing Facebook, a friend of mine posted an article that I found freeing.  Here is the link http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/being-christian-doesnt-always-look-you-think-it-should#eTjJBFTcxCxz6qX3.01.  Hopefully I added the link thing right & you can go read it for yourself.

I had attended what I thought was a great church & in some ways it was great.  I was taught the proper fear of the Lord, what worship is & isn't, I learned who God is & isn't.  I basically went from a baby to a mature Christian.  There were many good times & memories.  Then my little church closed, my then husband left me, my whole world crumbled or so I thought.  There are times when God has to strip away the false to reveal the real in our lives.....mine has been a few years in the making.

What I thought was a "good" church was in some ways a good church, but in retrospect & reflection I see where there was a spirit of manipulation at play in folks lives & the ministry.  When the church closed I felt like I had failed the ministry some how.  Rumors were flung around so others could be elevated in the eyes of the Pastors.  What I thought were my friends & mentors turned out to be false.  It was a confusing time in my life.

I admit, I have been floundering....hence why no posts in a LONG time.  I would feel the urge to write, but then thought I wasn't worthy of being His scribe anymore.....I didn't live up to the "Christian" image as I was taught I had to portray.  I still don't feel worthy to pen anything in His precious name, but I am feeling the urge of the Lord to be real & transparent in ways I have been trying to shield.  So hang onto your shorts....this could be a bumpy ride for both of us.

I was taught a "Christian" was perfect.  We don't have bad days, bad thoughts or feelings.  We are not to lose our cool. We are to be an example to the world.  After reading the article "Being Christian Doesn't Always Look Like You Think it Should" I saw my mask just crumble.  I am NO where perfect.  I don't always maintain my cool.....to be honest I am rather hormonal & quick tempered lately.  I am not always kind.....to be honest some days I say what is on my mind & find myself rather unfiltered.....which can be a good thing, but can also be rather detrimental.  Side note:  If my being honest & unfiltered has hurt anyone.....I humbly ask for your forgiveness.  In my attempts to be real....to be truly transparent & not "sugar" coat stuff I can be rather brash.

That leads me to another thought.  Why did we as a society become a blaming society??  I heard a co-worker today utter the words well my mother/father are responsible for the way I act.  I mean SERIOUSLY??  When I am wrong....which is about every moment of every day.....I am big enough to own up to my mistakes & not blame it on others.  If I said something wrong....it was me that said it, no excuses.  If I did something wrong....again it was me that did it, no excuses.

Let's face it folks....we are ALL human....quite subject to error.  There was only one perfect person...Jesus.  Heck He was/is & forever shall be God incarnate.  God Himself in human form to show me He CAN & does relate to the troubles & trials of my life.   It is by HIS mercy & grace I get MANY do overs....many opportunities to do it or say it His way...the right way.  I am so flawed & so imperfect, but God is SO loving & SO patient to give me the time & opportunity to be a daily work in progress.  One fine day Jesus will come again & when He comes then & ONLY then shall I finally be PERFECT.  In the mean time, grab your hard hat, come near me if you are brave enough.  I will be working daily to get this thing right more than I do now.

God is calling, will you answer?

I spoke with my friend Linda; scribe of the Psalmist's Corner.  She & I are in agreement that God is calling His church to repent & get back to business....the Father's business.  I have had a feeling in my spirit that we (the body of Christ & not just me) have disconnected from our first love.  We have forsaken Him.  We have forgotten our first love.  Linda has been feeling the same thing.

Jesus should be our first love, our first priority.  I once walked so closely with Christ that I heard & felt the moving of the Spirit on a daily basis.  I have moved away from that  myself.  God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit hasn't moved, I did.  I need to get back to that spot of worship & communion.  I have been loving Jesus like earthly man has.  I have viewed & operated in a relationship like earthly man does.  He wants to do so much more in & through us then we have been willing to allow.  I want to live abandoned again.

I guess that is why I have moved back to the first principle.....loving God.  I started reading "Falling in Love with Jesus" by Dee Brestin & Kathy Troccoli.  I am taking one day at a time to learn once again who Jesus is, how much He loves me, rediscovering once again the joy of His salvation.

Once we, the church, rediscover & reconnect with Christ we can then get about doing the Father's business His way, not our way!  The church these days is just a meeting place for Christians to pat one another on the back.  A place to feel good about ourselves.  The Church is supposed to be a refuge & resting place for those that need the Hope of Christ & a safe place to abide in these troubling times.

The world is getting crazier as my Beloved Lord foretold to His disciple on the isle of Patmos.  He is coming of that I have no doubt.  I don't want to be left behind, but rather I want to partner with Him in these final days, hours, weeks, or months before He comes & well after He comes back.  Want to join me in this journey?

Still alive studying at the Psalmist's Corner

I haven't posted in so long it almost seems foreign to me.  So much has transpired since my last post.  I found myself walking in the midst of prophecy.  I got married according to God's promise & found myself in the midst of a new church body.  I am still not sure what my place & purpose is just yet, but know I am there for a reason & purpose.  It's just a matter of time finding out the what & why.

A dear friend of mine started writing.  Her column is called the Psalmist's Corner.  She hasn't made it to the blog world yet so I will gladly post what she has given so far.  Here is her letter from April 2014:

"Happy resurrection day from the God of the Second Chance.  It's never more evident than at this time of year that God is the God of the second chance.  It's here in the Scripture John 3:16 & 17 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the word, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Notice I did not say the God of Second Chances.  Our whole life after we accept Jesus as our Savior is a second chance until the day we die.  Years ago, God told me this:  Linda you are not your mistakes & your mistakes are not who you are.  This is so right.  After I accepted Jesus, I am not just God's creation, I am God's child.  When I do make a mistake I go to the Father in Jesus' name, I repent in Jesus' name & am forgiven in Jesus' name, & go on with my life of the second chance.

For 2014:  Every prayer we have ever spoken, wailed, travailed or wept is still in front of God in the throne room.  When we speak them they take on substance & are manifested in the throne room of God.  They are being charged & ignited' being formed into answers by the power of God. God is getting ready to charge the atmosphere all around us as the answers are being released & sent to us here on earth.  Feel the electricity in the are all around you.  The air is charged with the creative power of God.  Be excited as we are about to receive answers from God.  Answers, Answers, Answers, Power, Power, Power!  Feel it, connect with it!!! No more delay, no more waiting, now moving in time with God.  Instant backing & response from God. One with Jesus & flowing with the power of the Holy Spirit.  Lord let the atmosphere around us be charged with Your power & glory.  Amen."

The Power of the Promise of Abundant Life

At our weekly Bible Study we are looking at the promises of God.  This week is the Power of the Promise of Abundant Life.  John 10:10 states "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."  But exactly what does abundant mean?  According to Dictionary.com abundant means "present in great quantity; more than adequate, over sufficient, well supplied, abounding, richly supplied, to be filled."

Bottom line......the Father loves us.  Why?  Well God is love and He cannot act contrary to His very nature. He created us for fellowship.....to share His extravagant love.  He loves us so much that to build the bridge between sinful man and Himself, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins.  He wants us to live life abundantly.  Now this doesn't mean having a life full of things & material stuff.  It means living richly in Christ Jesus.   Living filled with the love of God.  Abounding in His mercy & grace.  Richly supplied with the fruits of the Spirit to face any circumstances of life to overcome them.

When I reflect on the past few years of my life, even in what seemed like a dark lean time I truly lived an abundant life.  Oh yes, in the natural it was rather lonely at times, but I was surrounded by many friends who love me & prayed me through.  All my earthly needs were met & I didn't lack for any good thing.  I was able to give richly what God so amply supplied.  I really didn't lack for any good thing.  God was my husband & provision.

When I became content with what I had,God decided to bless me even further.  He gave me the desires of my heart.  A husband, a new home, a new church family.  When I went through this week's lesson, I had time to reflect with God all the good moments and all the rough things He brought me through.  I am learning to be a conqueror as promised & spoken of in Romans 8:37 "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."  More than conquerors - to over conquer, to conquer completely without any real threat to personal life or health.  

1 John 5:5 poses the question "Who is he who over comes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?"  The word for overcomer comes from a Greek word meaning to conquer, to have victory, to have superiority or a conquering power.  Saving faith is the first characteristic of an overcomer.  The term "believes" conveys the idea of continuing faith throughout one's life....good times or bad.  Faith that God is who He says He is and that He is faithful to sustain us in all circumstances.

Love is the second characteristic of an overcomer.  The overcomer not only believes in God, but loves both God & fellow believers. I am not talking about fickle man's love but real love.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 spells out clearly what real love is "Love suffers long & is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails."  I am still learning how to love like God does, to be kind to those who aren't kind to me.  Not an easy feat on my own, but through Christ I can do all things.

Obedience is the third characteristic of an overcomer.  Let's face it faith, love & obedience exist mutually in a dynamic relationship.  The genuine proof of love is obedience.   If you love someone, I mean love like God loves, you will want to do things to please them, things that will delight their heart.  Same with our relationship with God  If we truly love him we can't help but be obedient to His Spirit.  The way I see it we have the promise of Abundant Life & God has equipped us to achieve this by His example.....by our relationship with Jesus & through the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Make yourself a journal of all the things God has brought you through.  Get into His word and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal God's truth & promises in His word.  Get some good praise & worship music & have a dance party when the mully grubs try to rise up & envelop you.  Surround yourself with godly friends to help pray & encourage you through rough times.  But most of all, persevere, don't give up, keep on keeping on walking with the Lord.  It's an excellent if not precarious journey, but one worth taking.  God Bless.

Still Around but Busy

Hello blog world.  I am still alive.  So much has happened since my last blog.  I got a few prophesies about God bringing me a husband and family and boy did He!  I married a man that I have known for over 18 years now.  My Doug & I first met when he worked as an Electronics Tech where I work.  I actually helped him with some of his procurement.  We have been friends all this time, would talk when we ran into one another.  Doug is everything I told the Father I wanted in a husband and can't be happier.

My walk with the Lord is getting stronger.  I have changed my home church and am settling in with a great group of folks.  It's my husband's home church and I couldn't be happier there as well.  I am enrolled in a Precept Bible Study course on Covenant.  My dear friend Deborah Lynn taught a time or two on covenant before so some of what I am studying is what she taught.   But there are some nuggets of revelation that I am getting that I didn't know or see before.  God's word is so alive and active if we would just read it with an open mind and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal His truth.

Today is Easter Sunday.  One of my favorite holidays of the year....the other is Christmas.  YES both centered around my Beloved Bridegroom King.  A day of remembering that He isn't dead in some tomb, He is alive!  Because He is alive so am I.  Beautiful weather here in Indiana on an Easter...nice change too.

Today in church when Pastor Dale was preaching he hit upon Jesus preaching the Sermon on the Mount.  I got to thinking about the Beatitudes.   The Holy Spirit was prompting me, The BEatitudes.  Check it out....Matthew 5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, ² and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Be poor in spirit doesn't mean be poor or sad it means be humble.  Be a comforter to those in trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves were comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:4).  Be meek, be hungry & thirsty for righteousness. Be merciful, be pure in heart, be a peacemaker.  Be joyful even in persecution.  Be rejoicing  & glad in all circumstances.  Guess this is the lesson for the season.  Will have to get back in the habit of blogging so I can let you know how my progress is.

In Awe of His Grace

Am doing a daily devotional I picked up at Dollar General for like $5.00.....bargain!  It's "I Lift Up My Soul" by Charles Stanley......good read, great devotions.  Today's was "In Awe of His Grace".  It got me to thinking today.  The scripture reading for today was Psalm 43:3-5....go grab your Bible and look it up!  The key verse was Proverbs 14:27 "The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death".  It got me to thinking about fountains and how water is essential to life.  Deep stuff, too deep to put here for now.

One thing that jumped out the most to me was in the body of Mr. Stanley's commentary for the devotional.  "Each time a scribe would come to a passage containing the name of God, he would lay down his stylus & go wash his hands.  The scribe did not feel worthy to print God's name without cleansing & humbling himself before the Lord.  There was an aspect of godly fear in this action that seems foreign to us today.  Do you fear God for who He is? Are you aware of His awesome power & presence in your life?"  A powerful thought followed up with 2 interesting questions that got my mind to working.

Do I really fear God for who He is?  To fear isn't to shake in horror, it means to honor & revere Him for who He is......do I really fear Him?  To be honest I'd like to think so, but I have a tendency to sometimes over analyze things....especially when it is me that I am analyzing....my heart, my motives, etc.  One some levels I am in awe & reverent towards God, but sometimes like most I do slip into thinking He is just like me....dangerous ground when we do that.

Am I aware of His awesome power & presence in my life?  Yet another good question of which I have pondered and have sought to answer honestly.  Again I'd like to think so.  Most days I am very aware of His power & presence in this life I foolishly like to call my own, but some days I am so full of me I can't see or feel Him.....UGH!  When I wake up in the midst of those days I wish I could effectively kick my self in the rear!  Why do we as humans do that??  Escapes me other than we get to thinking we can conquer the world so much we forget we are but filthy rags & can't effectively accomplish squat without God's direction & guidance.  Silly human!

I had a dear friend tell me tonight that he is surprised with my knowledge of the Bible that I would not be seeking a larger "stage".  He isn't saying I am not wanted where I am, but seems to think that perhaps I could be of better use in Leadership or a bigger church.  I am quite happy where God has planted me.  I am here to get rooted again, to gain strength before He plants me elsewhere.  Would I like to be teaching full time again instead of sporadically like I do now?  Yeah, I thoroughly enjoy studying the lessons before giving them & there is always something new to learn.  Would I like to be in leadership again like I was?  Yeah, but I am wise enough to not go seeking a "title" or "position" without God initiating & arranging it for me.  I know if I "go for it" without it being God's plan, if I get out of His timing I am setting myself & anyone connected to me to fail.  Been through a church closing & don't care to go through it again anytime soon!  As much as I love my dear friend, I love God more & will continue to patiently wait for Him to position me where He chooses as best for my life & those around me.  There is much to do in the waiting & so many blessing when the waiting is over.

Time Flies When You are Having Fun

Time flies when you are having fun, guess I missed something there.  How things have changed since my last post.  Yes I am still alive, yes still struggling a bit with who I am in Christ and all He desires to do in me.  I haven't posted since January.....haven't felt compelled to write like I was.  Have fallen in the "routine" of work, home & church....a rut.  But as a wise person told me tis better to be in a rut rather than a grave as a rut has a way out in the ends whereas a grave is just a whole with only one way out & that is up.

Still single, still living with my two rather large & hairy roommates.  Not much has changed geographically and externally.  Internally things have been shifting and shaking....more shaking really.  God has me in a place where I am sorting through the junk in the closet of my heart.  I am coming more at peace with being single, sorting through some forgiveness issues and learning to de-clutter my heart.  I am still a hard hat zone...a work in progress albeit the progress might seem slow to some, it is right on target with my Beloved Lord.  Pray my beloved friends that God's will will prevail in this life I keep trying to claim as my own.  That I will get the desire to write again, as I know folks really do hit on this blog from time to time and some actually stick around to read it.  Again the disclaimer....this isn't an educational blog from the perspective of everything can be found in books and has been scientifically proven.  The purpose of this blog was and still is to journal my own personal journey with the Lord in the hopes that someone might be in the position I was in and it would give them a bit of hope.  Well must dash, must get ready for church.  I am teaching again, part time.  This morning's lesson is "Living Confident in Christ".  Seems He has me teaching on topics I need to learn the most.  Truthfully some days I am confident in Him and secure in His love, other days not so.....guess I needed a reminder and so do my fellow brothers & sisters in Christ.  HUGZ & be blessed.

Hospitality & New Beginnings

Well God is doing a work in me...so caution to those still allowed to be part of my life....I am a hard hat zone. God is taking me back to the basics of walking with Him. Stripping off all the religious lies and junk from me. There was a time I walked in unison with others, but that time ended 2 years ago this month. It was an ugly break but a necessary one according to God's own design & plan for my life. It was a hard rough season, but as seasons go, it is now over and there is such peace that floods my soul when I remember it. Thank You Father for Your peace and love.

God has brought me to a new body of believers who are a bit behind where I was, but are working towards the goal of a true intimate walk with Him. They are going over the basics once again, learning how to crawl before they can walk & fly. I know I am there to help encourage them along, to love & serve them as my Lord loves & serves me.

I have been back to flight school. My dearest friend Bob spoke how he once saw me fly and how God desires me to fly yet again. Am working my way back there....learning how to fly once again in worship, in prayer, in praise....how to fly in my day to day life. Like a bird who's wings were cut, it has taken a period of time for those feathers to grow back out, for me to trust those wings, for me to learn once again how to take flight and to soar. Some days I like a young eagle fumble a bit and land harshly, but other days I have the confidence and I just soar.

Been down a bit with the flu this weekend, but praising God for it nonetheless as we have had bad weather and icy roads. God always knows what is best for us, even if it doesn't look like His best...for that I am glad. This morning's Sunday school lesson was all about hospitality....one of the gifts He bestowed upon me at birth. It was a wonderful time with Him going over the lesson and hearing how pleased He has been with me that in spite of all I have endured this past 2 years that I am still loving and hospitable to others. That I still open my heart & home to others willingly and without hesitation.

3 John is a short but sweet book of the Bible. It gives the examples, good & bad, of hospitable people. In this short reading the Holy Spirit gave me this: That as the time is growing short, there is such a calling to treat one another in a manner worthy of God. We need to treat others as God Himself treats us.....tenderly and with loving care. Not loving as the world calls love, but as He Himself is love. John 3:16 gives us the perfect example of that love....that God so loves the world that He gave...note that....HE GAVE His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Three things I discovered this morning about this type of hospitality:

1) We are to show hospitality with pure motives. The Holy Spirit reminded me that I did and still do this. That I serve others for God's glory not my own vanity and fame. He reminded me that my motives are pure when I serve.

2) We are to show hospitality and not expect anything in return. The Holy Spirit reminded me that I don't seek fortune or fame. That I don't seek anything in return for my service; that I show hospitality out of the motive of loving my brothers & sisters.

3) Those who show hospitality participate in the ministries of those to whom hospitality is shown. That when I am serving on family dinner night at church, when I do something special to help someone in need, that I am participating in that person's ministry. That when I am serving others I am serving God's kingdom as a whole.

I used to think that one person couldn't change the world. Perhaps in the larger scale that is true. But one person can have a positive or negative impact on their immediate circle of authority or world. I choose to be hospitable towards others, whether they are deserving or not according to the world. Why? Because of John 3:16.....because God chose to be loving and hospitable towards me; a sinner who didn't deserve such love and grace.

What does all of this have to do with new beginnings? Why loving God and loving others above one's self is the beginning of a most excellent journey. Am back to the basics and beginning a new leg of a most excellent journey. I hope to blog more of my progress and hope you come along for the ride.

Hello Again Russia & Brazil, Welcome Georgia

Well I haven't blogged for quite some time. Logged in to catch up on my reading of friends blogs then checked to see who has been checking out my blog in the past month. What a sweet surprise there were 3 hits from Russia....St. Petersburg, Kazan & Moscow to be precise. Glad to see folks in Russia have found this humble blog. I pray blessings over each reader, that they found a nugget to help encourage them and keep them on their path of faith.

Another nice surprise, 2 hits from Brazil. Hello Pelotas & Rio Grande! Glad to see my follower, whomever you are, from Pelotas is still reading. Sorry I haven't blogged much, just haven't felt inspired to write, but I should get back on it hopefully soon. I pray you have enjoyed what you have read and it has been nourishment to your soul.

Only one hit in the good ole USA....a new place of Mabelton, GA! Hey ya'll down there in Georgia! So blessed to log in and see new places finding this blog. I pray you all faired well during the storms that have hit down there. May the Lord bless & keep, may His glorious face shine upon you!

When God called me to start this blog a couple years ago I was a bit hesitant. I am not an eloquent writer. I am not a theological teacher, haven't been to seminary, who was I to do this thing. Well God has blessed me richly with this endeavour and I pray it has blessed those that have read it. Please come back, often too. Feel free to leave a comment, a quote, a scripture or a piece of revelation you received whether when reading God's word, in prayer, etc.

Someone Has Poisoned the Water Hole

I praise God for planting me where He did. Don't know if anyone got today's message, but I surely did. I pray will honor His mouth piece Pastor Turner for giving a hard but oh so needed word today. When Pastor Turner started to read God's word in Exodus 15:22-27 I heard God speak, "Someone has poisoned the water hole."

In Exodus 15:22-27, the children of Israel had been out in the wilderness 3 day & they found no water. They came to Marah but they could not drink the water because it was bitter....hence the name as Marah means bitter. Moses cried out to the Lord seeking what should be done as the children of Israel started to grumble. The Lord showed Moses a tree & when Moses threw the tree into the water it became sweet.

Our lives as Christians are wells that others can come to & drink from. "How well is your well?" is the question I heard the Lord asking me today. Many things have occurred in my life over this past year. Many circumstances & situations have come my way that could make me bitter or better. I would love to say that it has all been better, but there were some pretty bitter things that have occurred....whether Father filtered or just slings from the enemy.

Bitterness is like poison to your soul, it's a bad taste in one's mouth & spirit. It can cause you to isolate & miss out on the sweetness of God & others in your life. God showed Moses a tree......a foreshadow of the Cross. When Moses put that tree into the water it became sweet. When we put the Cross in the midst of every bitter circumstance & situation.....when we put Jesus in the midst....it can become better & sweet again. When people become bitter it is because they are focusing on the circumstances & neglecting God in their lives.

The purpose of the wilderness is to have a face to face encounter either with God, with the enemy or with yourself. God led me into the wilderness for an encounter with Him and myself. He led me into the wilderness to teach me to trust Him & Him alone. But He also led me there to have a face to face encounter with the weaknesses in me. The weakness of bitterness that has poisoned this well & that has the potential to poison those that drink from it.

Jesus on the days leading up to & the day of His Crucifixion was wrongfully accused, mocked, & abandoned. He was denied 3 times by one of His trusted disciples & friend. He was beaten, bruised & killed for no just cause according to man's law, but God had a plan much higher then man's. Jesus could have become bitter before His death, but He instead counted it all as joy for what was set before Him. Why didn't He become bitter? Because He had the sweet communion of the Father & with us. He had God's plan & purpose before Him of being the redemptive Lamb.

My weakness is I focused so much on the not so fair circumstances & situations that have happened in my life so much so that I neglected God. I couldn't understand the "why" behind what was happening. People failed me left & right so I naturally thought God was going to fail me as well. People I thought were my friends abandoned me, so naturally I thought God was going to do the same. But wonderful Father He is.....He loves me so much so that He will not leave nor forsake me. He loves me as I am but also loves me enough to cause me to change.

Father, I pray not only for myself, but those who's well may be bitter today. I repent for neglecting You & our relationship. I repent for not believing that You wouldn't leave me & for not trusting You to take care of me. Forgive me for seeing You the same as the others in my life that had failed & abandoned me. Jesus I invite You once again into this life I keep trying to call & claim as my own. I invite all that You accomplished on the cross into the midst of my situations & circumstances. Holy Spirit help change what once was bitter into something now so sweet. Change this once bitter well into something sweet that others can drink from once again & be drawn to the Living Waters of life that feed it. Let my life lead others not to bitterness but to betterness in Christ alone. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Reconciliation

There have been several times in my life where God has called me to go and seek forgiveness from someone who has wronged me. Logically to the human mind it is the "offender" who causes the break in a relationship that should assume the responsibility for reconciliation. But God has put the responsibility upon me and I never could quite fully understand the "why" factor.....until this morning.

I am going over my Sunday school lesson, God & Bro. Walker have asked me to do in Bro. Walker's absence. It is on the Supremacy of Christ....from Colossians 1:15-29. It was in verses 19-20 I got my "why" answer...."For it pleased the Father that in Him (Christ) all the fullness should dwell, and by Him (Christ) to reconcile all things to Himself (God), by Him (Christ), whether things on ear or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His (Christ's) cross."

All the fullness of the Father dwells in Christ and it is by that Fullness that indwelling the Father chose/chooses to reconcile sinners to Himself. It is the fullness of Christ or one could say God dwelling within me by the Holy Spirit that chooses to be reconciled with the one that offended me. God can't help Himself. He created man for relationship and He provided the Lamb to ensure that relational bond remains between Himself and man. Wow if that doesn't give one pause to ponder and a reason to worship I don't know what does. What love the Father has for us His children....He made provision for us long before we were created. Let us be continually reconciled with not only the Trinity, but with one another. Hugz & blessings.

Walking Away

I thought all those in my life that God has called to walk away had walked away.....until today. This past weekend I was going to post a funny on a friend's page and was shocked to see that I had been deleted from their page. I had sent another "Add me" friend request, but didn't get a reply...good or bad. Today on my lunch break I texted said friend. What I got back wasn't the response I had hoped for....they said they were done with me.

Why you ask? Heck I am still trying to sort that out myself. Bottom line that I can figure is they are a willing ear to the lies of the enemy. Oh yes, God knew ahead of time what was happening and was allowing the enemy to sift me like Job. He allowed the enemy to play his petty games, but God & I got one up on ole slew foot. As grieved as my heart is to have yet another person turn their back upon me based on lies and rumors, I know my God has something even better in store for me. God's promises are true and strong.

The enemy had hoped I would walk away from God because of this sting, but foolish imp he is....it didn't work the first time and it won't again. My heart is grieving at the loss of a long time friend and confidant. I am prayerful that someday they will be loosed from the grip of the enemy and turn their heart back towards God. I am not cursing their leaving but am choosing to bless them as they go. Praying a hedge of protection about them as they stomp all over my heart.

Even though my heart is grieving it is also hopeful; for I am clinging onto the one who gives me hope. For God has promised me new friends, stronger friends, friends that will stick close to me almost as well as He does. Yeah, I am still lonely and my dogs are getting rather tired of me talking to them....but I know someday soon I will be surrounded by true friends, godly friends, family. Until then I sit, wait and refuse to be the one to walk away.

Holy Spirit Greenhouse

Yes, I know I haven't been blogging. No excuses other then I just haven't felt much like writing. I am back for now with a bit of wisdom to share of where I have been. I had found myself in God's Holy Spirit Greenhouse. Ok before you call the looney bin on me, give me several seconds to explain. If at the end of my tale you find it fit to make the call then so be it.....just means more folks for me to witness too! :o)

I have felt so isolated and alone the past several months and it wasn't until today I got the glimpse of why the isolation. I was consoling a good friend who is in a rough dry place right now. Not unlike the one I had been myself. I made the statement to her that we are plants in God's garden. Like any garden in the natural there are bugs and elements that can damage a tender young and even a hardy older plant.

Sometimes in the natural you have to remove plants from the garden and put them in the greenhouse to nuture and heal them from the damage(s) sustained in the garden. God does the same with us. He will isolate us to heal us, to nuture us, to train us to reach out to Him and His glorious Son for all we need. Well that is what this past season was. I didn't recognize it for what it was, but I did use the time wisely I think.

God has spoken through His prophet and my friend that the cloak of loneliness is being lifted. Like we shield a plant from the frost of the fall & harshness of winter; God has shielded me from the world and those in my life....or rather from those He removed from my life. I was isolated in His greenhouse being healed, strengthened, trained, etc. Why would such a loving God do such a thing to a person?? It is BECAUSE of His love for me that He did and does. Doesn't make sense to the mind in the natural but when you sit back and ponder the meaning of the greenhouse it makes perfect sense.

God has planted me in a new garden. He has put be beside some new plants...aka new and true friends, for a season I know. He has commanded me to bloom where He has graciously planted me. Daily I lift my spirit, soul & body to the Son. I soak in all the nourishment of His glorious presence. I am but a daisy in God's garden of roses....plain and often overlooked, but such a delightful joy of simpleness in a splended garden. Be blessed!

From Hurt to Healing

It has been over a month since my last post. God has been working in my life taking me from hurt to healing. It is a slow process that has had many tears but then tender moments of joy at His feet. God doesn't desire I should be alone, He wants me to be alone for a season. Something this social butterfly is struggling with....I don't deal well with being alone....something I have learned over this past year. Yes beloved friends it has been a year since the announcement of divorce was made....it was a shock to me when the Lord reminded me of it this morning.

I had/have such a weight of loneliness upon me....it is almost like a smothering cloak upon my heart. I have done nothing but weep for the past 3 days. I did have company yesterday, but even though it was nice to have someone to talk to the emptiness and loneliness was still there and got increasingly large and heavier as the day went on. But this morning the Lord took me, thanks to my new Pastor, to Genesis 50:20...this is the passage where Joseph is talking to his brothers "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." God reminded me that several in my life last year said and did things to mean harm to me and my walk with Him. But God meant to use all of that for good. We are called according to Matthew 5:13 to be the salt of the earth. One thing salt does is it add flavors, but it is also used to preserve. I was put here on earth to preach the Gospel, to pray for the preservation of those around me...I am salt....a bit sharp to the taste but given so live could be given.

God then used Pastor to take us to James 1:2-3 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." Some translations have the word patience in lieu of steadfastness. Tests and trials of life are given by the Father to test our attitude. When that cloak came upon me all I could do is weep and cry out to God. I had already made plans to spend Saturday with a friend and tried to fill that emptiness in my heart with the friend...but it wasn't the right fit. So I spent last night crying out to God about this loneliness and how I don't want to be alone. God spoke to me in church this morning that He wants me alone so I will rely solely upon Him...and that is a good thing, but my flesh doesn't quite see it this way.

God wants me to be patient in the waiting, but I so desire and crave human companionship and love. I guess that is why this cloak of loneliness seems so heavy. In God's reality it is a light weight shirt of sorts, but to my flesh and it's longing it is a heavy laden blanket. I am trying to be patient, to wait for the one that God has set aside for me, but it is so lonely in the waiting. I am trying to not jump for the first one that shows me love and affection for it can very well be a false love. Am prayerful that this season won't last any longer then necessary. In the meantime, I wait. Some days I can be quite patient....other days not so. Today is a not so day.....but I wait. In the midst of the waiting and loneliness God is healing me. Showing me His hands in all that I have endured for the past year. Taking my garments of mourning and slowly converting them to garments of praise. Taking my moments of sorrow and weeping and turning them into joy. It is a hard long journey and some days I feel like I can endure anything for the love of my Lord, but other days it is weary and dreary....but still I wait a bit longer for all of this because ultimately it is for the preservation of someone else. This picture is much bigger then just me and I need to remember that in this leg of the journey.