To "perform" or to "minister" that is the question.

I heard someone say today that they "perform" to an audience of One. Something just didn't sound right to my ears nor rang well with my spirit.  So being the studious student that I am, I of course Googled both definitions and set to pondering.

To "perform" is to "adhere to the terms of (as in a contract); to do in a formal manner according to a prescribed ritual; to give a rendition of; to carry out an action or pattern of behavior; to give a performance; to play".  To "minister" is to "to give service, care or aid; to attend, as to wants or necessities; to contribute, as to comfort or happiness".

Knowing the difference is crucial in these times & days ahead.  To perform is to go through the motions without opening one's heart & life.  It is to just do with no feeling or thought.  To minister is to open one's heart & life to be poured out like a drink offering.  Jesus didn't peform the act of sacrifice; He ministered as the act of sacrifice.  Jesus gave up everything He was & had so that we could be reconciled back to God the Father....no performing there.

This leads me back to the question God asked me in church last week...."Why are you here?"  Why do we go to church week after week?  Do we go to "perform" or to "minister" to that audience of One or are we there to be seen among men?  Are we there to give service, care & aid to those in the body of Christ?  Or are we there to give a rendition of being Christians?  Are we there to minister as in to attends to the wants & needs of the Father or our own stinking flesh?

Cutting questions that each of us has to examine & look at with a sincere heart & spirit.  I know I have been examining my own motives, heart & spirit lately.  I encourage you to do the same.  Why are you going to church?  If you are not going....why aren't you?  Are you performing or ministering?  Who is the one you are ministering to....your flesh or God when you do or don't go?  

I learned how to worship God when I first started this journey.  I learned to hear His still small voice & to move accordingly.   I was so head over heels in love with God & couldn't wait to get into His presence.   But then I allowed man to talk me into thinking I wasn't having a true & honest relationship with God.  I allowed circumstances & the actions of others to make me question everything I knew was true & right.  I have been calling out to God that I want what was lost between He & I by allowing man in & pushing Him away out of doubt & fear.

While walking on my treadmill the other night I cried out once again to God.  I realized I can't have the relationship of the past because that is where it belongs in my past.  I can have a fresh new & mature relationship with Him now.  A relationship of honesty of heart; a relationship that has weathered the storms of trial & the days of triumph.  I have come to realize I am still hungry for His amazing presence, to read His wonderful Word, I am still desiring to sit before His feet to learn His heart & needs, I am still desiring to minister to Him & Him alone; ministering not performing to an audience of One....the Only True One.

Ask yourself the cutting questions, answer them honestly, get before God & pour out your heart & life to Him.  If you want to save your life, give it totally away to God & He shall preserve it.  Matter of fact your life will be all the richer for it.  Oh yes, there will be trials & tribulations....hard times & heart ache, but the investment of yourself in to Christ is totally worth it.  Especially on the days when you can honestly see where your life has been & how it has grown in Him.  As for me, I have a walk to do not only on my treadmill today, but with my Savior helping others.  Have a blessed day.

Walking Away

I thought all those in my life that God has called to walk away had walked away.....until today. This past weekend I was going to post a funny on a friend's page and was shocked to see that I had been deleted from their page. I had sent another "Add me" friend request, but didn't get a reply...good or bad. Today on my lunch break I texted said friend. What I got back wasn't the response I had hoped for....they said they were done with me.

Why you ask? Heck I am still trying to sort that out myself. Bottom line that I can figure is they are a willing ear to the lies of the enemy. Oh yes, God knew ahead of time what was happening and was allowing the enemy to sift me like Job. He allowed the enemy to play his petty games, but God & I got one up on ole slew foot. As grieved as my heart is to have yet another person turn their back upon me based on lies and rumors, I know my God has something even better in store for me. God's promises are true and strong.

The enemy had hoped I would walk away from God because of this sting, but foolish imp he is....it didn't work the first time and it won't again. My heart is grieving at the loss of a long time friend and confidant. I am prayerful that someday they will be loosed from the grip of the enemy and turn their heart back towards God. I am not cursing their leaving but am choosing to bless them as they go. Praying a hedge of protection about them as they stomp all over my heart.

Even though my heart is grieving it is also hopeful; for I am clinging onto the one who gives me hope. For God has promised me new friends, stronger friends, friends that will stick close to me almost as well as He does. Yeah, I am still lonely and my dogs are getting rather tired of me talking to them....but I know someday soon I will be surrounded by true friends, godly friends, family. Until then I sit, wait and refuse to be the one to walk away.