Seeking God/Finding Me

I have been busy...busy seeking God's presence and comfort. Sadly my little church closed over a month ago and it didn't close in a nice way. Many hurts came from it, but in retrospect I can only say to God be the glory in it all.

I have learned a few things about life and people in the midst of all this chaos. But most importantly I have learned oh so much more about me....things I don't like, but am willing for God to touch & change! About a month before my little church closed I was having what I call a God moment at work. Yep, snot slinging and tongue speaking prayerful God moment. It is like the Holy Spirit showed up full force in my office and I flat out didn't care what anyone thought. Then He started speaking to me about a couple of things in my life....the presence of God was so thick in my office all I could do was weep. What should happen next, but a co-worker came in to drop off paperwork and saw the whole thing. He was nice and asked if I was OK....to which I replied tearfully I was fine, just having a God moment.

I was weepy off and on for several hours which made working quite interesting indeed. At lunch time I went to go heat up my lunch...still in a God moment and weepy. My co-worker asked again if I was OK....to which I replied this time, "This is what crucifixion looks like." Oh little did I know then that this was exactly what was happening to me. Then came the church closing, the lies slinging and the deep hurts that were caused. God's word is true folks....He works everything for the good of those who love Him and are called to HIS purposes. Out of the midst of all this pain and sorrow came the rebirth of an old friendship. Oh we remained friends but we weren't close or speaking due to some outstanding issues that kept us apart. But I reunited with this dear spirit and friend. We drank coffee, we cried, we prayed in the midst of a restaurant in town.

At the end of our get together, she handed me a book...."Exquisite Agony" by Gene Edwards. I had borrowed and read this many years ago and my dear friend said the Lord put it on her heart to give me her copy to read once again. For those that haven't read this book it deals with hurts sustained by fellow Christians. How God uses our brothers & sisters in Christ to "crucify" us as a means of putting on the cross those things that are not pleasing to Him. I know mind blowing isn't it!!! Here a month prior I tell a friend that what I was going through was crucifixion and wasn't totally aware that all that transpired after that was totally that!

So here I am, behind in my "Daily Walk" reading as I have been quite busy in His presence. Allowing the Holy Spirit to shine His light within me exposing negative mindsets, attitudes, & emotions that are not God's best but my soul's result. And I have picked up a book that was being taught right before the church closed...."The Unsurrendered Soul" by Liberty Savard. I have always only gone so far into God's presence and couldn't understand what was causing me to stop short of fully getting into His presence....this book is shedding more of His glorious light within me showing me what the hindrance has been....my soul isn't surrendered to Him fully. So again, more time reading, praying & seeking His glorious presence, love and healing.

So here I am once again...a hard hat zone. Allowing the Holy Spirit access to tear down strongholds that I have built within me and allowing Him to reconstruct me into the woman He created me to be. I call it a hard hat zone because like most construction sites you might get hit by flying debris...so caution close friends. Being with me might cause some of what is going on within me to hit you. Some of it might be good as it will cause change in you as well...some of it might be junk and flat out ugly. For that I apologize right now for....death is not pretty and death to self (flesh) isn't easy, but with God's grace it is obtainable. Many hugs, many prayers, many blessings!

Can't Get Enough

I will be in sporatically from here on out...check back periodically to see if I have anything fresh from the Throne Room. Hanging out with friends in the God's word...Daily Walking Through The Bible. Seeking the face of God like I have never done before.

God called out to me before Jan 1st asking "Will you seek me?" My only answer was YES. So as I type this I have the praise and worship from IHOP (International House of Prayer) in my headphones and my heart is singing to the Lord. If you get a chance go to www.ihop.org and click on the prayer room tv link at the bottom right of the page. It's free, won't cost you anything materialistic but it will give your soul such prosperity. While you are listening to the worship, praise, intercession and prayer grab His word and start a fresh journey of intimacy today. God is calling out "Will you seek ME?" What is your answer? Are you willing to risk it all for His all? Don't worry about those around you...God will take care of them...just run to the mercy seat and cling to the Lord of lords.

Workmanship

I have been reading and pondering the beginning as some may know from my last post. On this Daily Walk 2010 that I am doing the first chapters we read on 1/1/10 was Genesis 1 & 2. It has us ponder a thought "By God's design I am ________" and we had to fill in the blank. The daily devotion gave a few scriptures for us to ponder as a way of getting our creative juices flowing in discover the _________ part of the thought.

Ephesians 2:10 " For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Amplified version

I usually read out of the New King James Version, but I spoiled myself and purchased "The Everyday Life Bible, Amplified Version" with commentary by Joyce Meyer. I try to stay as close to the King James Version as I can as I believe with other interpretations man has the opportunity to put his own 2 cents in....ah but fodder for another blog! Anywho, I have been reading the amplified version as a way of grasping sometimes better understanding of what God is saying...I flipped back and forth between the 2 versions as I am reading most times ;o).

Back to the point at hand...sorry for the thought rabbit trail. Ephesians 2:10....God is taking me back to some foundational teaching in this verse. Many years ago He showed me this verse and the meaning of "workmanship" and I like how the amplified translates it "handiwork"....hand, we are all created by the Master Potter's hand...sorry thought processes are still pondering. Workmanship in the Greek is "poema"....the same root word we get the English word poem from. Like I said, He is taking me down some foundational teaching based upon this one thought.

We are a poem written by the Creator's hand long before we were planted in our mother's womb. Adam was created by God's own hand out of the dust. Eve was created by God's own hand by way of Adam's rib....we all were created [written] by the Master's hand. A living, breathing, active poem of God's love for other's to read. This life I call my own is a sweet prose some days, but others......

Adam & Eve took a hold of the pen and started writing their own bits of their life poems when they sinned in the garden. Their life poems went from ones of intimacy and close fellowship with the Father to dark prose of sin. The same with "my" life....when I allow the Master to recreate this poem it is beautiful prose...some of it encouraging and some a bit sorrowful; but as I see it you can't fully appreciate the sweet without a bit of bitterness...again fodder for another blog! But when I take a hold of that pen, when I decide I can better write the next part better then the Creator of not only myself but the universe I end up with dark prose of sin.

Who is in control of the pen? The Author & Finisher of your faith or you? Is your poem one of sweet & bittersweet or is it just bitter and dark? If it is the latter there is still hope and His name is Jesus. Look again at the amplified version of Ephesians 2:10 "we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus" See that??? Like a script writer makes "re-writes" to all those Hollywood scripts to tell the story from the proper angle Jesus recreates our poem...He re-writes it to reflect God's intended purpose and plan. What an awesome thought to start the new year with.

God I surrender to Your plan and purpose. Take up again the pen that writes this love poem of life. Recreate, Jesus, the dark prose to one of Your glorious light to shine brightly for others to see, giving hope to the hopeless and direction back to You. I pray Psalm 90:17 "And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands - yes, the work of our hands, confirm and establish it." Lord let Your favor, Your delight and Your approval be upon me as I go about Your work and Your work alone. Confirm and establish the work I do on Your behalf with Your plan and purpose. Amen

New Year

Happy New Year to you dearest reader. I pray this year will be one of drawing ever closer to God. A year filled with His presence and tender moments sitting at His feet in the secret place. I pray God opens the windows of heaven above you and rains down His beauty (His delight, favor & approval) upon you as promised in Psalm 90:17.

A few seconds after midnight, I started on an excellent journey through His word. I started at the same point my group started...Genesis 1-2...the beginning. I believe God is taking us back to the beginning, back to the foundational teachings once again as a means of writing His word on our hearts to prepare us for this new year and the year to follow.

The #1 thing I have heard from many prophets for 2010 is "obedience". God is calling His church back to it's first love...back to Jesus. Let us all be obedient and run (not walk or delay) back to Jesus and be like Mary and sit at His feet...spending time in His presence listening and learning. Many blessings to each and everyone of you. Make you take the time to sit with our wonderfully Creative Creator re-learning the foundational teachings, seeing His big picture. Hugs

Life is but a vapor

God puts people in our lives to teach us things about ourselves, but also as His hands and His feet to mold and make our lives. April of 1998 God put a dear woman in my life. Dora Jean Carson, of whom I knew as Jeannie. She became my sister-in-law officially on September 19th, 1998. But she was my new friend in April. She opened her home and heart to me readily and we became good friends as well as family.

This week my beloved sister-in-law graduated and is now residing with Christ in heaven. She didn't face any challenge in life with fear, but with faith in the staying power of her Lord, Savior, Beloved Friend & Bridegroom King. Two weeks ago she was rushed to the hospital and was released this past Saturday. We spoke with her son Tuesday night and she was improving, Wednesday morning she was no longer here on earth with us. I am reminded that life is just a vapor, gone in an instant and we never know the day or hour; but that we need love and live like we never have before. Our days are full of opportunities to be God's hands & feet and we shouldn't waste a minute.

My heart is saddened at the loss here on earth of her sweet smile, her warm heart so generous and full of hospitality. She never knew a stranger and saw every opportunity to demonstrate God's love and compassion. She was bold in her faith and was never afraid to share the Gospel with anyone. I know she is a deposit in heaven, someone to cheer me on and pray for me daily.

I love you, Jeannie, my dearest sister and friend. You will be forever missed at the family functions, but you shall never be forgotten. Thank you for showing me the love of God like I have never seen it before, I pray I can pick up the torch you dropped Wednesday and to carry it on. You also showed me a mother's love and devotion to her children which was lacking in my own life. You saw the good in everyone and always pulled on the giftings of God in me; helping me to become the person I am at this moment. I will miss our discussions over a cup of coffee, sharing our faith and new revelations. Save a seat for me for I know I shall see you on the other side and you can show me your mansion when I get there. Give the Father & Jesus a big hug for me.

Facts vs. Truth

I have been quite busy these days. Separating facts from the truth. Just a personal observation, but facts change based upon a person's perception, education, environment, etc. But the Truth, well, He doesn't change. Jesus said "I AM the Truth, the Life, the Way. Jesus is the very embodiment of God, He became flesh to be with man and like the Father, Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. That means HE doesn't change.

Fact is, there are many "religions" out there for people to explore and experience. Truth is there is only ONE God, ONE Son, ONE Holy Spirit...ONE Truth. I pray eyes are opened, spirits are refreshed and Jesus, THE TRUTH, becomes known and is known by those in relationship with Him. Want to know more about Jesus...start with the Bible and the book of John. Many hugs!

Where I've Been

For the 2 that follow my blog, I am sure you have been asking the question "where are you and when are you going to post?" I have been busy seeking God and in prayer. I have been following the blog of the Kipp family and have been doing some major prayer to get them through this leg of the journey. For new folks....go to www.welovecarter.blogspot.com and you can read all about the Kipp family and their journey for a liver transplant for their son Carter. Shout out to the Kipps, many hugs dearest family & go Carter go!

I find that the local assembly I gather with is getting many requests for prayer in the areas of healing & transplants. So fellow prayer warriors keep a little boy named Logan in your prayers. He is a dearest friend's nephew and he has had many surgeries for brain tumors....he is scheduled for surgery again on August 21st. It is believed his mommy, Dawn, may have the same condition that causes tumors to grow in the brain, but she won't go have it checked out nor surgery done. Sounds to me some sort of generational curse thing going on, so help me pray and break this off this family.

Another one is a dear woman named Belinda who needs a kidney transplant. Many things need to fall into place for Belinda, so please pray and surround her family with prayer. Please pray a donor comes forth that will be a perfect match and that the kidney will become one with Belinda's body. There have been so many medical advances in this type of transplant. God is so moving amongst the medical community!

Now onto what I have been seeking God on. Well about 2 years ago God spoke to me to prepare a room for my stepson as he was coming to live with his father & I. I had kept it in prayer and was trying to sort out stuff that was stored in the second bedroom of a mobile home we were living in. Needless to say trailers don't have a long life expectancy! This trailer was falling apart as fast as we could make repairs, so I started seeking the Lord as to what His plan and His best was for our family and the word HE gave me. Some of you may cry out "stone her!" but hang on. God's words says we have not because we ask not! So I started asking...God what is the next step? Do I stay in what seems to be a money pit (as I bought the place on contract and it was mine 100%) or are You setting us up to move? If we are moving here is what I see we need in a new place, but is truly is of YOUR choosing. It is ok to pray for a new home and to specific with what your need is. Yes God knows your need before you do, but like any good parent God likes it when you ask for it. God is so awesome and He orchestrated our family relocating to the next county in a beautiful new to us home. This home is an older home that was remodeled and it had everything me & God talked about for the past 2 years!

Today is the day my beloved stepson comes to live with us! He is expected to arrive sometime this afternoon. He is his mother's firstborn and I am sure it is rough for Nadine to send him to us, so pray she will find peace in knowing he is coming into a home of love and he won't be denied any visitation with her. Nadine and I have a good relationship, we communicate well with one another concerning B and life in general. So help me pray her through this part of the transition. I am not sure if this is just for this school year, or if B will finish out his education here. But I know this is rough on Nadine.

I have been seeking God and His presence to make ready for this next part of the journey. Having a 15 yr old coming in to my life to help mold and make. I am prayerful that Dad & I can help him through these years of his life....hormones changing and girls, peer pressure and grades. Such a rough time in a young man's life and we are prayerful that our life will be a good example before him.

Well I must dash to get ready for church. Many hugs, many thanks for prayer. May God bless the 2 that follow this blog! ;o) But may He also bless each and everyone that finds this blog in the vastness of cyberspace!